Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures https://djphmu41vf0fa.cloudfront.net/assets/ogma_logo.png https://ogmacomic.com Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures takes you to a magical land filled with adventure, mysterious creatures, endless danger, and says "No thank you." While other adventurers journey onward towards dazzling sunsets, fame, and fortune, Orc and Gnome have set their sights toward more reasonably-lit horizons and getting paid on time. Gnome's Journal Page 114: The Struggles of a Houseless Haunt https://ogmacomic.com/journal/114 2019-03-22 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 69: A Legal Transaction https://ogmacomic.com/comic/69 2019-03-20 Orc and Gnome have taken to shaking those kobolds up and down and up again for hot loot maps. Gnome's Journal Page 113: For Whom the Barrel Rolls https://ogmacomic.com/journal/113 2019-03-18 Gnome's Journal Page 112: Handling Cold Climates https://ogmacomic.com/journal/112 2019-03-15 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 68: Big Discounts https://ogmacomic.com/comic/68 2019-03-13 Death is one answer. Permanent maiming of your local necromancer is another. Neither will save our precious Gnome. But one will make Orc feel better. And that's all anyone cares about. Gnome's Journal Page 111: Summoning https://ogmacomic.com/journal/111 2019-03-11 Gnome's Journal Page 110: Beep https://ogmacomic.com/journal/110 2019-03-08 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 67: Stranger Things https://ogmacomic.com/comic/67 2019-03-06 Mystery sludge is a fantastic moisturizer and only *mildly* mutates your cellular structure! Gnome's Journal Page 109: Geodes, Dude https://ogmacomic.com/journal/109 2019-03-04 Gnome's Journal Page 108: Gargoyles of the Forgotten Hall https://ogmacomic.com/journal/108 2019-03-01 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 66: Its Course, Of Course https://ogmacomic.com/comic/66 2019-02-27 As a necromancer I solve my problems by waiting for them to die. Then bringing them back from the dead at family gatherings and inappropriate social functions. Gnome's Journal Page 107: Barrow Bonds https://ogmacomic.com/journal/107 2019-02-25 Gnome's Journal Page 106: Beware the Dice https://ogmacomic.com/journal/106 2019-02-22 This one was actually inspired by a literal pile of amazing dice I bought from Kraken Dice. The ones pictured on this page are actually a paintover of the ones I received, each being cut from semiprecious stones, including amethysts, opalite, and lapis lazuli. They're not often in stock, but if you're interested, subscribing to their newsletter will give you a heads up when they're planning to release another batch. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 65: Alternative Healthcare https://ogmacomic.com/comic/65 2019-02-20 His parents hoped he'd grow up to be a podiatrist. Gnome's Journal Page 105: Unbreakable https://ogmacomic.com/journal/105 2019-02-18 Gnome's Journal Page 104: Sphinx https://ogmacomic.com/journal/104 2019-02-15 The Sphinx is a curious case. Though it is widely accepted that sphinxes are impervious to any weapon or magics known across the expanse of the Empire, this fierce, ravenous beast adheres to a strict set of rules. Any soul with the misfortune of stumbling across her is given a test. Nowadays, survivors report being asked a riddle, but in the past a number of different tests seemed to be devised, including elaborate word searches, some magical puzzle known as a ‘sudoku’, and a three minute presentation on a topic of the victim’s own choosing. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 64: Kiss it Better https://ogmacomic.com/comic/64 2019-02-13 Does she know mouth to mouth? Gnome's Journal Page 103: Valentine's Day Cards https://ogmacomic.com/journal/103 2019-02-11 Gnome's Journal Page 102: Ware-Wolf https://ogmacomic.com/journal/102 2019-02-08 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 63: Easy Quests https://ogmacomic.com/comic/63 2019-02-06 Where did she find Orc themed bandaids? Gnome's Journal Page 101: Lawrence https://ogmacomic.com/journal/101 2019-02-03 Gnome's Journal Page 100: Wanted: Troll & Munky https://ogmacomic.com/journal/100 2019-02-01 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 62: A Job Well Done https://ogmacomic.com/comic/62 2019-01-30 Calculus. He's going to teach her calculus. Gnome's Journal Page 99: Prison https://ogmacomic.com/journal/99 2019-01-28 Gnome's Journal Page 98: An Inventory of Potions (Part Ten) https://ogmacomic.com/journal/98 2019-01-25 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 61: Talking Monkey https://ogmacomic.com/comic/61 2019-01-23 An adorable menace is still a menace. Gnome's Journal Page 97: Sweater https://ogmacomic.com/journal/97 2019-01-21 Gnome's Journal Page 96: A Study of Sprites: The Union of Non-Consumable Entities https://ogmacomic.com/journal/96 2019-01-18 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 60: Interrupting Orc https://ogmacomic.com/comic/60 2019-01-16 Gnome's Journal Page 95: Making Friends https://ogmacomic.com/journal/95 2019-01-14 Gnome's Journal Page 94: An Inventory of Potions (Part Nine) https://ogmacomic.com/journal/94 2019-01-11 [Top right] I've seen a few people use this sort of potion before, though I don't think I'd want to use it myself. Basically, you drink down the potion, and inevitably swallow one of the twenty-sided dice contained within. After nearly choking to death, you cough it up, watch it roll and come to a stop. The number that comes up will influence your luck until the next sunrise. Should you roll a 10 or higher, congratulations are in order! Depending on how high the roll, you may find a gold piece laying around, or perhaps you'll win big at cards. Rolling a 20 is something very special. Do this, and your life will be changed forever - perhaps you'll inherit a fortune from a long lost ancestor, or catch a noble's fancy. Now, if you roll a 9 or lower, then your luck will take a turn for the worse. From a 7 or greater, beware of furniture or doorframes, as stubbed toes are common. Lower still, and you might take ill. Roll a 1, and you might make an enemy of someone with real power. Now you're thinking - if it's got 20 sides, then there's no 0, right? Unfortunately not. It's widely considered rolling a 0, if you never manage to cough it up at all. [Bottom left] This one is particularly annoying. A bottle that will never break, but always spills. Hit it as hard as you want, and it will only crack or scratch the surface of the glass. Cork it tight, however, and you'll still end up with the contents all over your pants. Orc still thinks I can't control my bladder... Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 59: Unlicensed https://ogmacomic.com/comic/59 2019-01-09 All men are haunted by the elusive underboob. Gnome's Journal Page 93: Candy Currency https://ogmacomic.com/journal/93 2019-01-07 Gnome's Journal Page 92: The Damsel's Guild https://ogmacomic.com/journal/92 2019-01-04 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 58: Decoys https://ogmacomic.com/comic/58 2019-01-02 Orc and Gnome will travel great distances, fight dangerous monsters, poke fun at death himself if it means getting out of paperwork. Gnome's Journal Page 91: Map Time! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/91 2018-12-31 Gnome's Journal Page 90: Fake Coin Marketing Scams https://ogmacomic.com/journal/90 2018-12-28 Gnome's Journal Page 89: Christmas Prisoner Exchange https://ogmacomic.com/journal/89 2018-12-25 Merry Christmas! This special illustration is out a day earlier than the usual Wednesday updates, for obvious reasons. Regular programming will resume next week. Gnome's Journal Page 88: Mimic https://ogmacomic.com/journal/88 2018-12-24 Gnome's Journal Page 87: Impounded https://ogmacomic.com/journal/87 2018-12-21 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 57: 9-1-1 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/57 2018-12-19 Who you gunna call? Anyone covered by your homeowners insurance. Gnome's Journal Page 86: They're Mine! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/86 2018-12-17 Gnome's Journal Page 85: Box Goblins https://ogmacomic.com/journal/85 2018-12-14 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 56: Adventurer Audit https://ogmacomic.com/comic/56 2018-12-12 Which stat will increase my attractiveness to tiny nerds? Gnome's Journal Page 84: Unattended Minor https://ogmacomic.com/journal/84 2018-12-10 Gnome's Journal Page 83: Crystal Demon Photography https://ogmacomic.com/journal/83 2018-12-07 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 55: The Only Thing You Can't Replace https://ogmacomic.com/comic/55 2018-12-05 The best way to avoid side quests is to kill everyone you meet. Also this page was 100% inspired by a John Mulaney bit. Gnome's Journal Page 82: Force Field https://ogmacomic.com/journal/82 2018-12-03 Gnome's Journal Page 81: The Uncommon and Risky Business of Enslaving Orcs https://ogmacomic.com/journal/81 2018-11-30 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 54: Sentimental Value Only https://ogmacomic.com/comic/54 2018-11-28 On the weekends she goes by "Collar" ;3 Gnome's Journal Page 80: Ready for Bees? https://ogmacomic.com/journal/80 2018-11-26 Gnome's Journal Page 79: The Adventures of Great Aunt Wander https://ogmacomic.com/journal/79 2018-11-23 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 53: Aggressive Healing https://ogmacomic.com/comic/53 2018-11-21 Special delivery! *please don't kill me I'm just trying to help* Gnome's Journal Page 78: Bake a Cake https://ogmacomic.com/journal/78 2018-11-19 Gnome's Journal Page 77: Orc's Uncle Porc https://ogmacomic.com/journal/77 2018-11-16 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 52: Et Tu Skell-te? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/52 2018-11-14 Mr Skelly-Hand your betrayal was as obvious as it was inevitable. But it still hurt my feelings. Gnome's Journal Page 76: Added to Inventory https://ogmacomic.com/journal/76 2018-11-12 Gnome's Journal Page 75: Genetic Variance Among Orcs https://ogmacomic.com/journal/75 2018-11-09 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 51: M for Magical https://ogmacomic.com/comic/51 2018-11-07 The pages contain the slam poetry of an ancient deity. Rumor has it that upon hearing it spoken aloud the listener will sprout an over-groomed beard and be doomed to try and fund a series of small scale start-ups. Gnome's Journal Page 74: A Knife! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/74 2018-11-05 Gnome's Journal Page 73: Halloween Costumes https://ogmacomic.com/journal/73 2018-11-02 Gnome's Journal Page 72: That's How It Works https://ogmacomic.com/journal/72 2018-10-31 Happy Halloween! This week, since Halloween's fallen on a Wednesday, I made a little OGMA Halloween illustration for you folks. When Gnome puts on his Spongegnome Squaretrousers costume and gets a few spooky ales in him, he gets a little out of control. Regular programming will resume next week! For those of you viewing this on the home page of the website, hitting "Previous" will get you back into the story, and clicking on the Gnome's Journal banner below will get you more journal pages like this one! Gnome's Journal Page 71: Superior Pants https://ogmacomic.com/journal/71 2018-10-29 Gnome's Journal Page 70: Candy Potions https://ogmacomic.com/journal/70 2018-10-26 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 50: Loot! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/50 2018-10-24 Some girls just want to smash. Gnome's Journal Page 69: Gnome's Socks https://ogmacomic.com/journal/69 2018-10-22 Gnome's Journal Page 68: The Wandering Tinkerfin https://ogmacomic.com/journal/68 2018-10-19 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 49: A Helping Hand https://ogmacomic.com/comic/49 2018-10-17 He's a strong independent Gnome that don't need no boops. Gnome's Journal Page 67: Cute Enough https://ogmacomic.com/journal/67 2018-10-15 Gnome's Journal Page 66: Hint Tokens https://ogmacomic.com/journal/66 2018-10-12 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 48: Not Breaking Things https://ogmacomic.com/comic/48 2018-10-10 The final piece to this puzzle is being 4 inches taller. Gnome's Journal Page 65: Bag of Holding https://ogmacomic.com/journal/65 2018-10-08 Gnome's Journal Page 64: An Inventory of Potions (Part Eight) https://ogmacomic.com/journal/64 2018-10-05 [Top left] Pickled Mana Faeries. A surprisingly tasty treat, if you can handle their tendency to squirm and complain. On top of that, just one full faerie will expand the size of your mana pool for a full day. They're really only a step away from being mana moths anyway. [Top right] The Pomegranate Grenade - throw it at an enemy and it will erupt in a flurry of bubbles and sparkles. Carrying a heavily fruity scent, it's sure to distract and harry them while you make your mistake [escape, but we decided to leave the typo]. Extremely useful - I used to have several of these, but they've been disappearing. I think Orc has been using them for her baths... I mean, she always comes out smelling suspiciously good. [Bottom right] Recently Orc joined a party that had a temporary opening, and left me to spend the day drinking with Mr. Turtle. When she got back, she planted this in front of me, with a big grin plastered across her face. She proudly declared that as her share of the loot, she claimed this "golden bear." She was sure it would make me happy, and that we'd be able to sell it for a fortune. I don't have the heart to tell her that it's just a fancy bottle of mediocre honey. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 47: No Breaking things https://ogmacomic.com/comic/47 2018-10-03 Orc isn't the first hero to go mad with murderous rage at the sight of ceramic pottery. Gnome's Journal Page 63: The Orb of Destiny https://ogmacomic.com/journal/63 2018-10-01 Gnome's Journal Page 62: Orc's Out for Today https://ogmacomic.com/journal/62 2018-09-28 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 46: But it Can Be https://ogmacomic.com/comic/46 2018-09-26 My trust was misplaced. Gnome's Journal Page 61: A Thoughtful Gift https://ogmacomic.com/journal/61 2018-09-24 Gnome's Journal Page 60: Orcish Librarian https://ogmacomic.com/journal/60 2018-09-21 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 45: Work isn't Always Fun https://ogmacomic.com/comic/45 2018-09-19 Orc's a professional. I trust her. Gnome's Journal Page 59: A Study of the Dungeon Industry: A Boon of Convenience https://ogmacomic.com/journal/59 2018-09-17 Gnome's Journal Page 58: Search Queries https://ogmacomic.com/journal/58 2018-09-14 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 44: No Backsies https://ogmacomic.com/comic/44 2018-09-12 Fun goes great with a light garlic sauce over bread. Gnome's Journal Page 57: Mr. Turtle's Inventory Inspection https://ogmacomic.com/journal/57 2018-09-10 Gnome's Journal Page 56: The Beginnings of a Crippling Obsession https://ogmacomic.com/journal/56 2018-09-07 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 43: The Fun Kind of Death https://ogmacomic.com/comic/43 2018-09-05 Orc was born fully formed bursting from her father's forehead... no. Wrong story. Gnome's Journal Page 55: Sleepwear https://ogmacomic.com/journal/55 2018-09-03 Gnome's Journal Page 54: Things Orc Brings Me https://ogmacomic.com/journal/54 2018-08-31 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 42: And Sorry I Could Not Travel Both https://ogmacomic.com/comic/42 2018-08-29 Anything you say. Just don't drop that hammer on my foot. Gnome's Journal Page 53: Organic Dungeons https://ogmacomic.com/journal/53 2018-08-27 Gnome's Journal Page 52: A Closer Look at Orc's Hair https://ogmacomic.com/journal/52 2018-08-24 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 41: Two Roads Diverged in a Dungeon Dark https://ogmacomic.com/comic/41 2018-08-22 Put that hand down Mr Turtle. You don't know where it's been. Gnome's Journal Page 51: A Study of the Dungeon Industry: Dungeon Bosses https://ogmacomic.com/journal/51 2018-08-20 Gnome's Journal Page 50: Orc's Record of Events https://ogmacomic.com/journal/50 2018-08-17 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 40: No More Questions! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/40 2018-08-15 You said you were an alchemist and that mages are "Scientists who cheat" Gnome's Journal Page 49: Cupcakes https://ogmacomic.com/journal/49 2018-08-13 Gnome's Journal Page 48: An Inventory of Potions (Part Seven) https://ogmacomic.com/journal/48 2018-08-10 [Top right] In our field of work, we often go into dark places, and sometimes an open torch isn't an option. While these are not strictly potions, they are bottle-based solutions we've been known to employ. One option is a large bottle of thick glass filled with clear water, in which the egg sack of a starlight fly is inserted while still soft. In the water, it grows solid quite rapidly. Once hard, it can easily crack against the side of the bottle, freeing the glowing nymphs inside and creating an obnoxious glow. [Bottom] A trapped candlesprite will grow dim while it sleeps, but while awake, its flame gradually burns through the cork imprisoning it. Also, the bottle will get quite hot, posing a serious hazard. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 39: Cheating https://ogmacomic.com/comic/39 2018-08-08 Tender Tokens carry no gold value and are only redeemable at dungeons under level 15. Gnome's Journal Page 47: The Temp Guild: And Its Many Chickens https://ogmacomic.com/journal/47 2018-08-06 Gnome's Journal Page 46: On the Subject of Dust Imps https://ogmacomic.com/journal/46 2018-08-03 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 38: Need a Hand? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/38 2018-08-01 I've got a bone to (lock) pick with you... Gnome's Journal Page 45: The Temp Guild: A Guild is Born https://ogmacomic.com/journal/45 2018-07-30 Gnome's Journal Page 44: An Inventory of Potions (Part Six) https://ogmacomic.com/journal/44 2018-07-27 [Top right] What a strange shape for a vial. I prefer big bottles, myself. [Top Left] We use this mixture of streamwater, mint and little bits of fluorite to rinse our mouths before we sleep. I suspect Orc sneaks candies in bed though... [Bottom left] I bought this at market. Thought it might be a nice gift for orc, for reasons that should be fairly obvious to anyone who knows her. I figured it was some sort of a snow-globe that would send little particles all aflutter when shaken. The more I look at it though, the more it seems like the little hammer is trying to... escape. How did it get there in the first place? Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 37: Orcish Fashion https://ogmacomic.com/comic/37 2018-07-25 Fire is so hot right now. Gnome's Journal Page 43: The Temp Guild: About Tender https://ogmacomic.com/journal/43 2018-07-23 Gnome's Journal Page 42: Of Flora and Fungi https://ogmacomic.com/journal/42 2018-07-20 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 36: Trailblazing is Prohibited https://ogmacomic.com/comic/36 2018-07-18 Shoo, the nerds are playing puzzles. Gnome's Journal Page 41: The Temp Guild: Guild Hall and Tavern https://ogmacomic.com/journal/41 2018-07-16 Gnome's Journal Page 40: On the Subject of Drakes https://ogmacomic.com/journal/40 2018-07-13 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 35: Keys of All Sorts https://ogmacomic.com/comic/35 2018-07-11 Orc has a hammer and every problem is a nail. Gnome's Journal Page 39: An Inventory of Potions (Part Five) https://ogmacomic.com/journal/39 2018-07-09 [Top right] Today we start with a simple mana potion. The weird thing about these is the kind of bugs it tends to attract. It doesn't matter how well sealed the bottle is, these annoying little blue "mana moths" can always smell it out. Very irritating. [Bottom right, definitely not sriracha] A celebrated condiment only found in the Temp Guild Hall, Tender's Chicken Sauce can add a kick to any meal. It's made from a secret recipe and bottled in house with its distinctive green stopper. Strangely enough, the sauce is neither made using chicken, nor intended to be used on chicken. We're not really sure what chickens have to do with it. Perhaps Tender employs them to make the sauce? Will continue to investigate. Gnome's Journal Page 38: A Fastidious Gnoll Banker's Crucial Knickknacks https://ogmacomic.com/journal/38 2018-07-06 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 34: Options https://ogmacomic.com/comic/34 2018-07-04 We could also try flirtation, bribery and the crowd favorite... arson. Gnome's Journal Page 37: Orc Dentistry https://ogmacomic.com/journal/37 2018-07-02 Gnome's Journal Page 36: Shared Accommodations https://ogmacomic.com/journal/36 2018-06-29 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 33: A Perfectly Normal Transaction https://ogmacomic.com/comic/33 2018-06-27 Kobolds are actually very heavy and rarely get ups. They are also definitely.. maybe.. probably not dragons. Gnome's Journal Page 35: An Inventory of Potions (Part Four) https://ogmacomic.com/journal/35 2018-06-25 [Top left] This potion's pretty spooky, and not easy to find. I'm not yet sure of which ingredients are used in it, but I'm sure they're equally rare. This potion is a poison of sorts - consuming some unspecified amount will put you in a state so close to death that clerics and healers will not be able to tell, and the undead themselves will not be able to distinguish you from their own ranks. The correct dose will wear off in two sunrises, but be careful not to overdose. Though it does come with a generous refund policy, collecting can be difficult. [Bottom right] This one's great - and not just for the utterly unnecessary and expensive ornament on the top. Which won't come off. I've tried. Must be some kind of unicorn-based glue. Anyway, this option is for those of you with a picky palate, or anyone who needs to attend a banquet catered by their mother in law. It is well known that mother in laws are incapable of cooking well. One drop of this concoction will make anything that touches your tongue taste like your absolute favourite food. Truly! I didn't believe it at first - and then I nearly chipped my teeth trying to eat rocks off the ground. Fantastic! Gnome's Journal Page 34: The Unconventional Courtship of Gribble and Veishet https://ogmacomic.com/journal/34 2018-06-22 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 32: Summoning https://ogmacomic.com/comic/32 2018-06-20 That is the sound of a kobold who loves his job. Gnome's Journal Page 33: An Anatomical Comparison of Orcs and Elves https://ogmacomic.com/journal/33 2018-06-18 Gnome's Journal Page 32: His Name Was Chugg https://ogmacomic.com/journal/32 2018-06-15 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 31: Bag Full of Offerings https://ogmacomic.com/comic/31 2018-06-13 Orc lady say what now? Gnome's Journal Page 31: An Inventory of Potions (Part Three) https://ogmacomic.com/journal/31 2018-06-11 [Heart-shaped bottle, top left] Orc is weirdly lucky. One day she was trundling through a stream, splashing about like a child (as she does), and she came across this lovely (and nearly full) greater health potion. While many young and inexperienced imbeciles [crossed out] adventurers will assume these to be commonplace, they're not by any stretch. You can find some basic potions to mend your scrapes and disinfect cuts in most markets, but those elven-made knockoffs won't do anything for a broken bone, or a proper stab wound. This bottle on its own has enough elixir to bring my idiot back from the brink at least half a dozen times. Maybe more! [Yellow-green potion, bottom left] I was excited when I stumbled upon this one, thinking it a potent poison. Turns out it was a basic, but effective, mosquito repellant. Considering the size of mosquitos in some of the places we visit, it wasn't an entirely disappointing purchase. [Pink, triangular bottle, bottom right] On top of the cork being stuck so tightly that I could only test its contents by licking at the fluid that pooled underneath from the bottle's many cracks, it turned out this potion puts the subject in an unnaturally good mood for hours. Truly horrendous. Gnome's Journal Page 30: His Name was Gurt https://ogmacomic.com/journal/30 2018-06-08 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 30: Lost https://ogmacomic.com/comic/30 2018-06-06 Shifting sands don't make for distinct or consistent landmarks. Gnome's Journal Page 29: A Study of the Dungeon Industry (Part Two) https://ogmacomic.com/journal/29 2018-06-04 Gnome's Journal Page 28: The Melon District of People Town https://ogmacomic.com/journal/28 2018-06-01 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 29: What You Own https://ogmacomic.com/comic/29 2018-05-30 Gnome forgot to explain to Mr Turtle that he is going to have to pay for things. Gnome's Journal Page 27: An Inventory of Potions (Part Two) https://ogmacomic.com/journal/27 2018-05-28 [Bottle with the mer creature, top right] I found this one in a dungeon expedition. We were clearing the place for a lord... or a baron... or maybe just some rich fellow who thought too highly of himself. But I stumbled upon a side room that could only be accessed from a tiny passage I found behind two loose bricks. Only I could fit, it was almost like it was meant for me. The haul wasn't great, just a fancy box that contained this bottle. I don't know how the little creature inside has survived this long, but it is very hissy, and rather mean. [Jar on the bottom right] This one was too expensive to buy, but it was pretty. Merchant said it contained dragon mucus. Very potent. [Long necked bottle on the bottom left] I found this one empty in the gutter. It deserved better, with its graceful neck and big, voluptuous bowl. I brewed for it a poison of nightshade berries, with overripe peaches to taste. Even a poisoning should be a pleasant experience, I think. Gnome's Journal Page 26: A Study of the Dungeon Industry (Part One) https://ogmacomic.com/journal/26 2018-05-25 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 28: Inadequate Child Care https://ogmacomic.com/comic/28 2018-05-23 Please, call me Turtle. Mr Turtle was my father. Gnome's Journal Page 25: An Inventory of Potions (Part One) https://ogmacomic.com/journal/25 2018-05-21 Every town has a market, and every market has an alchemist. As a form of research, I purchase any unique potions I can lay my hands upon. Needless to say, the glorified merchants rarely know much about the wares they sell, and mislabel them frequently. In order to catalogue them correctly, I must taste their contents and observe their effects. This is quite dangerous, and must be done with care. [The phallic vial on the top] The vial's shape is rather unpleasantly suggestive. The contents taste of overripe raspberries, A dab of the fluid on my tongue burned at first. I woke up hours later, and Orc was blushing and would not say why. [The spherical bottle on the bottom right] Tastes of blue. I went blind for a week. Remarkably, that is exactly what the merchant had claimed. [The squarish bottle on the bottom left] When applied to skin, it increases the rate at which hair grows considerably. Very useful for those days when Orc's antics result in my eyebrows being singed off. Gnome's Journal Page 24: The Imperial Postal Service https://ogmacomic.com/journal/24 2018-05-18 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 27: Breakfast at Tender's https://ogmacomic.com/comic/27 2018-05-15 The dwarf said that the answer to Mr Turtle's identity crisis was at the bottom of a mug filled with a strange honey colored liquid. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 26: The Next Job https://ogmacomic.com/comic/26 2018-05-15 Tender is too busy looking for his missing chicken to hand out jobs right now. You'll just have to check the local boards for something. Gnome's Journal Page 23: Another Orc Portrait https://ogmacomic.com/journal/23 2018-05-14 This was a fun little activity - I painted a portrait of Arielle (the one who writes all the funnies here) and then turned her into Orc. I even recorded it! Gnome's Journal Page 22: Backpack Logistics https://ogmacomic.com/journal/22 2018-05-11 Gnome's Journal Page 21: A Day at the Beach https://ogmacomic.com/journal/21 2018-05-07 Gnome's Journal Page 20: The Great Orc Detour https://ogmacomic.com/journal/20 2018-05-04 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 25: Looking for Treasure? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/25 2018-05-01 Only the desperate use boards to post jobs. Only the insane take those jobs. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 24: Dungeon Flippers https://ogmacomic.com/comic/24 2018-05-01 Maybe if we pretend nothing is wrong I wont have to do anything about it. Gnome's Journal Page 19: Free Jokes https://ogmacomic.com/journal/19 2018-04-30 Gnome's Journal Page 18: There's Something About Turtle https://ogmacomic.com/journal/18 2018-04-27 Gnome's Journal Page 17: On the Subject of Bridges https://ogmacomic.com/journal/17 2018-04-23 Gnome's Journal Page 16: Items Found on a Common Kobold https://ogmacomic.com/journal/16 2018-04-20 Gnome's Journal Page 15: Kitten Coat https://ogmacomic.com/journal/15 2018-04-16 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 23: Not Getting Paid https://ogmacomic.com/comic/23 2018-04-15 On the other hand, if Tender's chicken got hurt in a bog they'd be facing death instead of wage garnishments. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 22: Where's the Package? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/22 2018-04-15 You had one job. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 21: Bog with a Frog https://ogmacomic.com/comic/21 2018-04-15 Pumpkin spice witch huts available this fall. Get yours today! Gnome's Journal Page 14: So Much Storage https://ogmacomic.com/journal/14 2018-04-13 Gnome's Journal Page 13: Orc Has Hobbies Too! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/13 2018-04-09 Gnome's Journal Page 12: Various Things Found on an Orc Barbarian https://ogmacomic.com/journal/12 2018-04-06 Gnome's Journal Page 11: A Travelling Alchemist's Required Tools and Trinkets https://ogmacomic.com/journal/11 2018-04-02 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 20: Tastes Like Bog https://ogmacomic.com/comic/20 2018-04-01 Bogs and fens both have deposits of peat in them. However, bog water is more acidic than fen water as fens have greater water exchange from small rivers or ground water. This joke is supported by science. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 19: Kobold Cartography https://ogmacomic.com/comic/19 2018-04-01 He's doing his best. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 18: Negligent Nomenclature https://ogmacomic.com/comic/18 2018-04-01 Mr. Turtle hugs are the best hugs. Gnome's Journal Page 10: The Ministry of Frog https://ogmacomic.com/journal/10 2018-03-30 Gnome's Journal Page 09: A Bit of Traditional Painting for Once https://ogmacomic.com/journal/9 2018-03-26 Gnome's Journal Page 08: Struggling with Sapience https://ogmacomic.com/journal/8 2018-03-23 Gnome's Journal Page 07: The Naming of Wells https://ogmacomic.com/journal/7 2018-03-19 Gnome's Journal Page 06: People, Places, and Things https://ogmacomic.com/journal/6 2018-03-16 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 17: For You! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/17 2018-03-15 "Does your book have a plant called chokegnome?" "No, but it sounds interesting. what does it do?" "Gurgle mostly." Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 16: Crazy Like Me https://ogmacomic.com/comic/16 2018-03-15 Mr. Turtle the Tortoise sat up. It was then that he realized he was sitting up. "Well that's interesting," he remarked. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 15: A Funny Prank https://ogmacomic.com/comic/15 2018-03-15 That would look great over a fireplace. Gnome's Journal Page 05: Raccoon Conspiracy https://ogmacomic.com/journal/5 2018-03-12 Gnome's Journal Page 04: The Denizens of the Enchanted Forest https://ogmacomic.com/journal/4 2018-03-09 Gnome's Journal Page 03: On the Subject of Kobolds https://ogmacomic.com/journal/3 2018-03-05 Gnome's Journal Page 02: Stop touching my stuff https://ogmacomic.com/journal/2 2018-03-02 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 14: Playing With Toys https://ogmacomic.com/comic/14 2018-03-01 You can tell a lot about a man by the size of his explosions. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 13: Gator Wranglin' https://ogmacomic.com/comic/13 2018-03-01 She's really not handling this. But I'm not going to be the one to tell her. Gnome's Journal Page 01: Smile for the Camera https://ogmacomic.com/journal/1 2018-02-26 Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 12: Basic Adventuring Skills https://ogmacomic.com/comic/12 2018-02-14 She's a fighter not a geographer! Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 11: Fondling Bottles https://ogmacomic.com/comic/11 2018-02-14 At least Mr. Tortoise is wearing protection. ..Get it? Because he's got a shell? No? God damnit. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 10: I can help? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/10 2018-02-14 Look, there she goes Our lady of green, silver, and gold Her jokes are so lewd I'm blushing too My goodness she's cute and funny to boot I mean... the middle doesn't actually rhyme. But do you think she'll like it? I hope she does... Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 09: The-The Guild https://ogmacomic.com/comic/9 2018-02-14 I once asked Tender to keep his chickens outside for health and safety reasons. He made me sleep in the coop for a week. I still find feathers in my things. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 08: Playing https://ogmacomic.com/comic/8 2018-02-14 Excerpt from: How to Avoid an Orc Rampage Orcs by nature are a rather large and violent people. Some theorize that their great ancestors once stubbed their toe on a peice of furniture and swore vengence on all man made structures. There is also the school of thought that Orcs are giant claustrophobes and destroy buildings as a way to avoid their fears. This however fails to explain the destruction of bridges, chairs, fences and other non wall based structures. Whatever the case may be Orcs break things. Many things. Large or small. It is our advice to you, should you encounter an Orc that you- Oh dear. Looks like the rest of the book was destroyed. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 07: I'm Keeping This https://ogmacomic.com/comic/7 2018-02-14 You'd think being so much closer to the ground world make him more observant. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 06: Hoarders https://ogmacomic.com/comic/6 2018-02-14 Everything's a riddle with those scaly, bat-winged jerks, and sometimes they just won't even bother at all. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 05: I Think She Likes You https://ogmacomic.com/comic/5 2018-02-14 Q: How many chickens are in this story exactly? A: However many it takes to make you laugh. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 04: Extra Muscle https://ogmacomic.com/comic/4 2018-02-14 You may want to reconsider. I don't think Gnome comes with any kind of warranty, and you're clearly going to need one. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 03: Ring for Service https://ogmacomic.com/comic/3 2018-02-14 It's probably just beer. Let me check the script. papers rustle Uh oh. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 02: The Temp Guild https://ogmacomic.com/comic/2 2018-02-14 "Dear diary, Today I fell victim to basic economic principles." I still can't believe you want me to narrate for a Gnome. At least the exposition looks nice. Was he really chased by a bear? Oh... right. We get to that later. Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures Page 01: So the Story Begins https://ogmacomic.com/comic/1 2018-02-14 Like all grand adventures, this one begins in a tavern, with a tankard of ale. But it had better not be grand - Gnome would absolutely hate that.