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https://djphmu41vf0fa.cloudfront.net/assets/ogma_logo.png https://ogmacomic.com https://ogmacomic.com Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures takes you to a magical land filled with adventure, mysterious creatures, endless danger, and says "No thank you." While other adventurers journey onward towards dazzling sunsets, fame, and fortune, Orc and Gnome have set their sights toward more reasonably-lit horizons and getting paid on time. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/209 Thu, 29 Dec 22 00:00:00 +0000 Support your favourite web comics, and the people who create them. Support their Patreons, share their comics with your friends. Do what you can, so they can keep producing the content you love. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/328 Fri, 23 Dec 22 00:00:00 +0000 The real treasure was the expectations we subverted along the way. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/327 Fri, 16 Dec 22 00:00:00 +0000 Do you smell that? Smells like a punchline coming... Roll for comedic effect! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/326 Fri, 09 Dec 22 00:00:00 +0000 Madam Sphinx, show the lucky kids what they've won! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/325 Fri, 02 Dec 22 00:00:00 +0000 When you thought you'd never hug the puppet of your grandmother ever again! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/324 Fri, 25 Nov 22 00:00:00 +0000 Tis the season! The season to see reason. I'm still scared though. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/323 Fri, 18 Nov 22 00:00:00 +0000 Our legacy! Our treasure! Our reputation at the country club! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/322 Fri, 11 Nov 22 00:00:00 +0000 And she won't stop lording it over all of the non-union cannon fodder! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/321 Fri, 04 Nov 22 00:00:00 +0000 Having done his good deed for the day, Paladin finally got to enjoy his shrimp - and three points off his permanent record! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/320 Fri, 28 Oct 22 00:00:00 +0000 You can out run your family but never your feelings. Not with those legs. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/319 Fri, 21 Oct 22 00:00:00 +0000 Oh the places you'd go - if I could ever bear to release you from my tiny puppet hands. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/318 Fri, 14 Oct 22 00:00:00 +0000 Suddenly, and all at once, a great many questions about Gnome and his anxieties have been given an answer. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/317 Fri, 07 Oct 22 00:00:00 +0000 M- maybe if we stay perfectly still, they'll think we're a second painting. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/316 Fri, 30 Sep 22 00:00:00 +0000 There were no ratkin on the party's guest list. We checked! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/315 Fri, 23 Sep 22 00:00:00 +0000 When you want everything to be about you, but you're not prepared for it to actually happen. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/314 Fri, 16 Sep 22 00:00:00 +0000 Interdimensional portals can wait. We have CHARACTERS TO DEVELOP! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/313 Fri, 09 Sep 22 00:00:00 +0000 Archer's not here for treasure - she's here to see where the other end of that inter-dimensional hole leads! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/312 Fri, 02 Sep 22 00:00:00 +0000 Q: Why do all the portraits in the dungeon have holes in their eyes? A: Because Grandma Trove likes to watch. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/311 Fri, 26 Aug 22 00:00:00 +0000 When peeking behind the curtain, do not be surprised to find a man showering. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/310 Fri, 19 Aug 22 00:00:00 +0000 WHAT?! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/309 Fri, 12 Aug 22 00:00:00 +0000 Orc is a big believer in the power of mind over matter, as manifested by distracted doodling on homework assignments. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/308 Fri, 05 Aug 22 00:00:00 +0000 What’s the point of building a dungeon if you can’t watch people squirm inside of it? - Grandma Trove https://ogmacomic.com/comic/307 Fri, 29 Jul 22 00:00:00 +0000 Answer quickly, wyrm, before you catch these tiny hands! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/306 Fri, 22 Jul 22 00:00:00 +0000 Hold on. What was that about a friend? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/305 Fri, 15 Jul 22 00:00:00 +0000 Looks like some kind of mid-tier laundry-based creature boss. I give it a solid B-. Physically impressive, but impractical. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/304 Fri, 08 Jul 22 00:00:00 +0000 This begs the question, did they see this coming? Why did they have a harness on hand? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/303 Fri, 01 Jul 22 00:00:00 +0000 He used every one of his intelligence points in one go. Does anyone know if they grow back? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/302 Fri, 24 Jun 22 00:00:00 +0000 Grandma really shouldn't be building dungeons at her age. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/301 Fri, 17 Jun 22 00:00:00 +0000 Strange place for a nap. Are dragons like cats? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/300 Fri, 10 Jun 22 00:00:00 +0000 I could have sworn this was a sewing room last time I was here... https://ogmacomic.com/comic/299 Fri, 03 Jun 22 00:00:00 +0000 When she says "reminds me of home" does that... include the bear trap? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/298 Fri, 27 May 22 00:00:00 +0000 What would you protect behind stone walls, pit traps, and acid-spitting undead? For me, there's these baby photos of me sitting on the toilet... https://ogmacomic.com/comic/297 Fri, 20 May 22 00:00:00 +0000 Paladin learned from his last party. You gotta finish the shrimp first, *then* get to business. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/296 Fri, 13 May 22 00:00:00 +0000 Was she mad? I think she was mad. I'm having heart palpitations man, WHICH ARM IS SUPPOSED TO GO NUMB?!!! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/295 Fri, 06 May 22 00:00:00 +0000 If you need me, I'll be waiting in phase 2 of "the plan". https://ogmacomic.com/comic/294 Fri, 29 Apr 22 00:00:00 +0000 Did Gnome just yell at his mom? .... Nahh. Better read the page again. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/293 Fri, 22 Apr 22 00:00:00 +0000 Controversy? At MY wholesome family gathering? Impossible. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/292 Fri, 15 Apr 22 00:00:00 +0000 Oh god am I having a stroke? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/291 Fri, 08 Apr 22 00:00:00 +0000 When raising a child with such.. unique characteristics, it's important to take unique approaches to their development. For example, rarely - but sometimes - puppets are an appropriate choice. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/290 Fri, 01 Apr 22 00:00:00 +0000 OGMA is a comic about exploring different cultures and definitely not trouncing all over them. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/289 Fri, 25 Mar 22 00:00:00 +0000 Do you hear that? That's the sound of rising deductibles and pre-existing catastrophes. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/288 Fri, 18 Mar 22 00:00:00 +0000 Locked, loaded, fully equipped, and ready to go! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/208 Fri, 11 Mar 22 00:00:00 +0000 Make no mistake - where the potion goes, so too the crab. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/207 Fri, 04 Mar 22 00:00:00 +0000 In a world where we one cannot simply buy a cheap onesie off the internet, we must make do in our own fashion. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/206 Fri, 25 Feb 22 00:00:00 +0000 It's Frost Troll season! Grab your themed clothing and your seasonally appropriate weapons and let's go hunting! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/205 Fri, 18 Feb 22 00:00:00 +0000 With Chapter 7 over, we're going to take a little detour and explore 4 seasonal potions before meeting Gnome's family! Because I think we can all use a bit of a breather. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/287 Fri, 11 Feb 22 00:00:00 +0000 Home is where my stuff is. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/286 Fri, 04 Feb 22 00:00:00 +0000 But Gnome! What about the call to adventure? THE CALL TO ADVENTURE CAN LEAVE A MESSAGE. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/285 Fri, 28 Jan 22 00:00:00 +0000 By the tips of his teeth, Hooves skirted yet another criminal charge against him. Little did he know, though the alleged victim and alleged perpetrator would have been residents of People Town, the orc tribe would have held jurisdiction over this case. The axe blade he avoided would have been novelty-sized. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/284 Fri, 21 Jan 22 00:00:00 +0000 After the requisite search for four panels, by Hoof Law, Mr. Turtle is now legally declared deceased. We will accept your condolences in the form of cold, hard, cash. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/283 Fri, 14 Jan 22 00:00:00 +0000 We've all been there. We have. Come on. Let's not pretend that we haven't all lost a child at least once. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/282 Fri, 07 Jan 22 00:00:00 +0000 Chief Thrownhands' face... that's the face my father makes when I refuse to wash the dishes. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/281 Fri, 31 Dec 21 00:00:00 +0000 Orc, now might be the time to equip your Gno- SHIELD. I MEANT SHIELD. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/280 Fri, 24 Dec 21 00:00:00 +0000 Is someone felling timber? That's just his knees? Oh... Oh no! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/279 Fri, 17 Dec 21 00:00:00 +0000 ... I'm not joining the family business! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/278 Fri, 10 Dec 21 00:00:00 +0000 Good news, Grampa! I'm getting married! But the bad news is... https://ogmacomic.com/comic/277 Fri, 03 Dec 21 00:00:00 +0000 A bunch of younglings bringing a bearded old man presents on a special occasion? We call this one the "Reverse Kringle". https://ogmacomic.com/comic/276 Fri, 26 Nov 21 00:00:00 +0000 It was the best of lines- wait, no! It was the worst of lines. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/275 Fri, 19 Nov 21 00:00:00 +0000 Are you sure we can't just send a mass text? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/274 Fri, 12 Nov 21 00:00:00 +0000 Like Momma always said - make sure you have an exit strategy. She had wings, I have an orc. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/273 Fri, 05 Nov 21 00:00:00 +0000 Save me from the consequences of my own inaction! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/272 Fri, 29 Oct 21 00:00:00 +0000 "It's boring and I'm bad at it!" - words applicable to the vast majority of things. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/271 Fri, 22 Oct 21 00:00:00 +0000 What? Clear and open communication? In my fantasy web comic? Unacceptable! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/270 Fri, 15 Oct 21 00:00:00 +0000 They also forgot about Mister Turtle. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/269 Fri, 08 Oct 21 00:00:00 +0000 What do I look like? A guy who waits in lines? Yes?! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/268 Fri, 01 Oct 21 00:00:00 +0000 Sure hope that's a fortuitous presence, and not nearly as foreboding as it seems. Maybe I'm just racist against orcish silhouettes. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/267 Fri, 24 Sep 21 00:00:00 +0000 He needs answers before that ominous drumming catches up to him. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/266 Fri, 17 Sep 21 00:00:00 +0000 She'll be back for that duck. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/265 Fri, 10 Sep 21 00:00:00 +0000 A large crown weighs heavy upon such teeny shoulders. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/264 Fri, 03 Sep 21 00:00:00 +0000 Being chief wouldn't happen to involve a giant hat, would it? Yeah, I get it. Orc hates wearing hats. No way she'd want to do that, especially not full-time. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/263 Fri, 27 Aug 21 00:00:00 +0000 Father always said not to argue with women who were foaming at the mouth. Turns out dragon related survival tricks work cross-species. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/262 Fri, 20 Aug 21 00:00:00 +0000 Throw in some red meat, a bit of onion, some familial drama, and BAM. You've got yourself a stew. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/261 Fri, 13 Aug 21 00:00:00 +0000 In the business, we refer to this as being "volun-told". https://ogmacomic.com/comic/260 Fri, 06 Aug 21 00:00:00 +0000 Mr. Turtle is obviously the brains of the operation. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/259 Fri, 30 Jul 21 00:00:00 +0000 All his life, he had failed to prepare for this one moment. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/204 Fri, 23 Jul 21 00:00:00 +0000 ALRIGHT, GUILDIES. We did it. We got our intrepid orc her very own tiny girlfriend - and we got a big ole backlog of story pages ready to go out! Arielle and I have moved into our new apartment, but unfortunately the whole flooding displacement was only the first phase of our summer of ugh. Now we're flying off to help my parents move out of their house - but because I was able to get a ton of pages done while we were in our temporary place, OGMA'S BACK ON TRACK! Is Gnome in danger? What's Orc like around her parents? What's the deal with Decay? Find out this and more, next week on ORC AND GNOME Z! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/203 Fri, 16 Jul 21 00:00:00 +0000 The heart wants what the heart wants! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/202 Fri, 09 Jul 21 00:00:00 +0000 Treat yourself. You're worth it. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/201 Fri, 02 Jul 21 00:00:00 +0000 Despite that frog's obvious infatuation with what it considers as the "biggest, greenest, pointiest frog", it is not the tiny girlfriend our heroine seeks. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/200 Fri, 25 Jun 21 00:00:00 +0000 Did anyone ask how Boon managed to court his wife, Tribulation the Despoiler? https://ogmacomic.com/journal/199 Tue, 22 Jun 21 00:00:00 +0000 You asked, and like any self respecting Tengu messenger of the Imperial Postal Service, we delivered six months late! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/198 Fri, 18 Jun 21 00:00:00 +0000 That day, our Tender hero learned the importance of reading contracts. He and his unexpected betrothed went on to enjoy 3 to 5 years of Happily Ever After™, and when their contract came to a close, they decided not to renew. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/197 Fri, 11 Jun 21 00:00:00 +0000 Please, sir? Will you accept these cookies? https://ogmacomic.com/journal/196 Fri, 04 Jun 21 00:00:00 +0000 Tender subscribed. Did you? I mean, I know there's no way to subscribe on the website, but we use the same joke across Patreon and Webtoon.. so..... I mean you can subscribe through RSS! And Feedly! If anyone actually uses those things anymore. I feel like most of the internet has moved past RSS feeds. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/195 Fri, 28 May 21 00:00:00 +0000 Philip Bauer asked us about Tender's wives - so we decided to go snooping around in his diary. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/258 Fri, 21 May 21 00:00:00 +0000 And with this lovely illustration, the story portion of OGMA unfortunately has to be placed on hold, due to our apartment getting flooded, and our living situation being thrown somewhat into disarray for the next few months. You can read more about it in Gnome's Journal <a href="https://ogmacomic.com/journal/194">here</a>, along with what we're going to be posting in the mean time - because OGMA doesn't do hiatuses! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/194 Thu, 20 May 21 00:00:00 +0000 We should be back to our usual story in a few months, but until then, feel free to ask us questions - be it here on the Disqus comments below, on WebToon, on Discord, on Facebook, on Patreon... Anything that sounds interesting to us, we'll turn into a journal page. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/257 Fri, 14 May 21 00:00:00 +0000 She seems nice. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/256 Fri, 07 May 21 00:00:00 +0000 I'm sure she means the friendly kind of war... Right Mom? MOM?! I'll be right back. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/255 Fri, 30 Apr 21 00:00:00 +0000 Good news everyone! Orc's mom just dug us a new irrigation channel! Bad news everyone, she is now fully powered by maternal passion. Get your helmets and stand back. We prepared for this day! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/254 Fri, 23 Apr 21 00:00:00 +0000 That is either the luckiest or unluckiest pig in The Empire. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/253 Fri, 16 Apr 21 00:00:00 +0000 Those birds are so judgmental. And ominous. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/252 Fri, 09 Apr 21 00:00:00 +0000 Ever have that nightmare where you are in school but forgot your pants? This is worse. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/251 Fri, 02 Apr 21 00:00:00 +0000 Please line up in an orderly fashion or face The Consequences. The Consequences, of course, being twin orcs who love enforcing social order. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/250 Fri, 26 Mar 21 00:00:00 +0000 We don't plan on making a habit of this, but Hooves - a frequenter of our OGMA Discord Server, was such a perfect fit for our universe that we just had to incorporate him into the story. That, and I needed a "knight" piece for an OGMA chess set I'd like to make one day. Kobold pawns, anyone? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/249 Fri, 19 Mar 21 00:00:00 +0000 Look. When you book a ride after 3 in the morning, you can't go complaining about the manner of conveyance we're able to procure for you. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/248 Fri, 12 Mar 21 00:00:00 +0000 The perks of being a dragon include: passive aura of intimidation, passive mana and health regen, passive income from terrorizing markets, passive aggression for getting your children to pick up their socks... https://ogmacomic.com/comic/247 Fri, 05 Mar 21 00:00:00 +0000 "My father doesn't read, but he has an excellent memory. So I read the entire dictionary and a few thesauruses to him when I was younger. He likes to use it as an intimidation tactic with other races." https://ogmacomic.com/comic/246 Fri, 26 Feb 21 00:00:00 +0000 A brave man fights battles he may not win. A wise man, hides. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/245 Fri, 19 Feb 21 00:00:00 +0000 Man mistaken for treasure returned without receipt. More at 11. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/244 Fri, 12 Feb 21 00:00:00 +0000 Oh boy, Gnome's in hot water now! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/243 Fri, 05 Feb 21 00:00:00 +0000 Unfortunately for Orc, dogs only break their vows of silence in dire circumstances. No matter how much they love her scritches. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/242 Fri, 29 Jan 21 00:00:00 +0000 Welcome to the UPs store, where may we fling you today? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/241 Fri, 22 Jan 21 00:00:00 +0000 This dog's day has just begun. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/240 Fri, 15 Jan 21 00:00:00 +0000 We all know what happened last time Orc picked up a small furry man at a bar. With Volume 2 of Orc and Gnome's Mild Adventures completed , we're issuing a change to our update schedule! We decided that through volume 2 we'd try to pull off 2 updates per week, just to build up the overall backlog so new readers would have a lot to chew on. Now that we've done that, we have to ease up on the artist to ensure he doesn't fall into an early grave. Updates from now on will be on Fridays only - once a week. This also ensures that we don't speed too quickly towards the series' planned end (though that is still a couple volumes away). Patreon supporters at the sneak-peak tier still get the next 2 pages. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/239 Mon, 11 Jan 21 00:00:00 +0000 "She's the big Orc, she's probably around people, she's green... figure it out, squab." https://ogmacomic.com/comic/238 Fri, 08 Jan 21 00:00:00 +0000 Goodnight Gnome. Goodnight Chest. Goodnight stained rental tuxedo vest. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/237 Mon, 04 Jan 21 00:00:00 +0000 When you are 3 drinks in and forgot that you proposed to your girlfriend. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/236 Fri, 01 Jan 21 00:00:00 +0000 Aww, she accepts him and his giant melon. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/235 Mon, 28 Dec 20 00:00:00 +0000 Oh don't worry Boon. Voluptua's not mad at you. She's just got resting lich face. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/234 Fri, 25 Dec 20 00:00:00 +0000 A new, revolutionary writing strategy: when you forget about some loose plotline, solve it with fire and move onto more interesting things. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/233 Mon, 21 Dec 20 00:00:00 +0000 At least they didn't catch her writing fanfiction. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/232 Fri, 18 Dec 20 00:00:00 +0000 This is how we will solve all our problems. And by "our" I mean mine. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/231 Mon, 14 Dec 20 00:00:00 +0000 You can't run from your feelings when your legs are that short. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/230 Fri, 11 Dec 20 00:00:00 +0000 Awww, I was hoping for a shiny! Let's go buy another booster pack. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/229 Mon, 07 Dec 20 00:00:00 +0000 Where will you be when the peppermints kick in? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/228 Fri, 04 Dec 20 00:00:00 +0000 I hope you brought a comfy chair - this is going to take a while. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/227 Mon, 30 Nov 20 00:00:00 +0000 Everybody's developing special skills except Gnome. One could say his character development has been... stunted. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/226 Fri, 27 Nov 20 00:00:00 +0000 First she says "no violence". THEN she claims to have some sort of "plan". Is it the dress? Or is it... the pockets. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/225 Mon, 23 Nov 20 00:00:00 +0000 Somebody forgot to tell Gnome that all his stealth rolls came with a penalty of his entire self. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/224 Fri, 20 Nov 20 00:00:00 +0000 Oh give me a home, where the orcs all do roam, and the elves all scream as they're flayed! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/223 Mon, 16 Nov 20 00:00:00 +0000 People trust you more when you can look them right in the eye... without having to crouch. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/222 Fri, 13 Nov 20 00:00:00 +0000 We also know you forgot how she died. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/221 Mon, 09 Nov 20 00:00:00 +0000 It's okay. We know you forgot who she was. We saw you trying to figure it out in the comments. We forgive you, but next time there's going to be a test. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/220 Fri, 06 Nov 20 00:00:00 +0000 There are going to be several incident reports - all written in crayon - by the end of the night. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/219 Mon, 02 Nov 20 00:00:00 +0000 A good idiot knows that when navigating the world, he must provide value in order to be protected by his betters. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/218 Fri, 30 Oct 20 00:00:00 +0000 Classic elves! They finally get to show up in the comic, and what do they do? Steal Gnome's girlfriend. Just. Classic. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/217 Mon, 26 Oct 20 00:00:00 +0000 Get yourself a girl that dances with other girls. So you can find the buffet. Or hold up a wall, as is your manly duty. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/216 Fri, 23 Oct 20 00:00:00 +0000 Doom comes from below and above. This evening is going down like a champagne tower. What next, a bib? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/215 Mon, 19 Oct 20 00:00:00 +0000 Her boots are made for dancing. Walking costs extra. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/214 Fri, 16 Oct 20 00:00:00 +0000 An elf... she looks angry. Do you think Paladin had a chance to talk to her already? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/213 Mon, 12 Oct 20 00:00:00 +0000 Convictions are for those who adventure without the proper insurance coverage and legal bears. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/212 Fri, 09 Oct 20 00:00:00 +0000 That's Gnome's way of saying she looks nice. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/211 Mon, 05 Oct 20 00:00:00 +0000 At least sock him one for wrinkling the rental. It doesn't have to be in the face! I'll settle for a gut check. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/210 Fri, 02 Oct 20 00:00:00 +0000 In order to give ups, one must complete a 5 week course and undergo at least three different certification tests. Orc will simply not stand for anyone skirting the laws and regulations demanded by the Empire's Ministry of Vertical Adjustment. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/209 Mon, 28 Sep 20 00:00:00 +0000 And it was then that Gnome whispered to himself a mantra I call upon every time Arielle (the writer) lifts me up without my consent: "BE HEAVY. BE HEAVY." It has yet to work, but still I have faith that one day it will. Then... then the tables will turn. Side note: please help me off this table, it is very high and I cannot climb down. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/208 Fri, 25 Sep 20 00:00:00 +0000 You smell that boys? That's tomfoolery in the air. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/207 Mon, 21 Sep 20 00:00:00 +0000 What you cant tell from this page is the invitation is hot pink and also a sticker. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/206 Fri, 18 Sep 20 00:00:00 +0000 Mage first got into magic hoping to live a fairy princess life style. Then she learned how to make a fireball and it was all downhill from there. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/205 Mon, 14 Sep 20 00:00:00 +0000 *furious sipping sounds* https://ogmacomic.com/comic/204 Fri, 11 Sep 20 00:00:00 +0000 You know you're in trouble when Archer pops the sock out of her mouth to lecture you. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/203 Mon, 07 Sep 20 00:00:00 +0000 It is time for tea, not mayhem. Mayhem is at 7. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/202 Fri, 04 Sep 20 00:00:00 +0000 It's all for the kids. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/201 Mon, 31 Aug 20 00:00:00 +0000 Look, office space downtown is just too expensive for a startup. 'Round here they charge by the square foot, and the only reason I was able to get this space is because barrels aren't square! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/200 Fri, 28 Aug 20 00:00:00 +0000 Crime! Coming to a barrel near you. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/199 Mon, 24 Aug 20 00:00:00 +0000 Boon's personal marketing efforts are surprisingly aggressive for someone who lives in a trash can. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/198 Fri, 21 Aug 20 00:00:00 +0000 Quarantine crafts are getting a little out of hand. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/197 Mon, 17 Aug 20 00:00:00 +0000 The animatronics always get so dramatic when it gets close to breaktime. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/196 Fri, 14 Aug 20 00:00:00 +0000 Claw Machines: Introducing children to gambling since 1890. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/195 Mon, 10 Aug 20 00:00:00 +0000 No kobolds were harmed in the making of this sock puppet. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/194 Fri, 07 Aug 20 00:00:00 +0000 We had a deal Orc! Don't you know relationships are purely transactional?! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/193 Mon, 03 Aug 20 00:00:00 +0000 There is an untapped market for attractions designed for disproportionately sized couples. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/192 Fri, 31 Jul 20 00:00:00 +0000 Your hair only counts if it can withstand impact with a wall at 7 Gs. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/191 Mon, 27 Jul 20 00:00:00 +0000 Personally, I think the whole universe is just a series of celestial bodies skewered through the center by a grand, multi-dimensional skewer. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/190 Fri, 24 Jul 20 00:00:00 +0000 Courting your Orc, now with ten hot tips for keeping your pelvis intact! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/189 Mon, 20 Jul 20 00:00:00 +0000 And the toy needs to be at *least* as big as him. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/188 Fri, 17 Jul 20 00:00:00 +0000 "Boon in the House" is filmed in front of a live studio audience, and is brought to you by the Letter "Money" and by viewers like you. We'll send you the bill. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/187 Mon, 13 Jul 20 00:00:00 +0000 The flavor of Flavortown is chicken. But don't lick the floors. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/186 Fri, 10 Jul 20 00:00:00 +0000 Little Blinky loves eyeballs, but I guess the store was out. Refer to Page 164 of Gnome's Journal. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/185 Mon, 06 Jul 20 00:00:00 +0000 Just in case you were wondering if they had lives outside of their work. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/184 Fri, 03 Jul 20 00:00:00 +0000 The french word for "Chief" is "Chef". https://ogmacomic.com/comic/183 Mon, 29 Jun 20 00:00:00 +0000 You must be this short to eat from the children's menu. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/182 Fri, 26 Jun 20 00:00:00 +0000 Is this a date or a hostage situation? Is there a difference? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/181 Mon, 22 Jun 20 00:00:00 +0000 What did my mother always say? Ah, yes. Only trust a demon if he comes bearing coupons. Woman of her word, that one. She sold her soul for a coupon. 55% off, the thrifty wench! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/180 Fri, 19 Jun 20 00:00:00 +0000 Look, Gnome. If you're *sooo* keen on continuing to live, there are some things you just have to do. For instance, eat. Exercise. Keep your mind stimulated. Don't upset the woman who can, will, and HAS yoten an oversized drake through a heavy reinforced door. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/179 Mon, 15 Jun 20 00:00:00 +0000 Well, they can't afford ale - but at least root beer was on sale. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/178 Fri, 12 Jun 20 00:00:00 +0000 He still hasn't forgiven them for the incident with the plush toys. He tried to have them written up on charges of fraud and grand chicanery, but he dropped it when he found himself unable to maintain eye contact with Tender. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/177 Mon, 08 Jun 20 00:00:00 +0000 Q: What is Mage doing? A: Helping. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/176 Fri, 05 Jun 20 00:00:00 +0000 Join us for the game of the century. Chicken. Tender. Who will come out on top? Tune in and find out! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/175 Mon, 01 Jun 20 00:00:00 +0000 There was a question of how dead he'd be by the end of this - and the answer was *extremely*. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/174 Fri, 29 May 20 00:00:00 +0000 Growing up with dragons taught Gnome a lot about the importance of being polite. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/173 Mon, 25 May 20 00:00:00 +0000 We live in a polite society. You will respect the sanctity of the monologue. You will wait your turn. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/172 Fri, 22 May 20 00:00:00 +0000 You'd think a zombie wouldn't fear death, and you'd be wrong. The undead have glimpsed the afterlife, and know their mother-in-laws are waiting for them. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/171 Mon, 18 May 20 00:00:00 +0000 Right in the kisser! Disclaimer: Please do not kiss Drakes. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/170 Fri, 15 May 20 00:00:00 +0000 Everybody please calmly proceed to your nearest exits and head towards your designated muster point. You'll find it three towns that-a-way. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/193 Wed, 13 May 20 00:00:00 +0000 Unfortunately this will be the last regular update of Gnome's Journal. We'll continue updating irregularly when we've got art and doodles and lore to share, but it will be much less consistent, and much less often. Gnome's Journal was first something we introduced back when we only updated the story twice a month, in order to keep people interested. Eventually as we started updating weekly, then twice a week, the Journal pages took a bit of a step back. At this point, it's simply too taxing to keep pushing out three pages of content per week. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/169 Mon, 11 May 20 00:00:00 +0000 Why are you like this? Why are all of you like this? How did I end up here? I don't deserve this. You deserve this! YOU! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/168 Fri, 08 May 20 00:00:00 +0000 Be careful to whom you grant the power of unregulated choice. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/192 Wed, 06 May 20 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/167 Mon, 04 May 20 00:00:00 +0000 Up until now, all of mage's problems have been solved with fire. Today, for the first time in her life, fire has failed her. Let us have a moment of silence. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/166 Fri, 01 May 20 00:00:00 +0000 Orc's about to SMASH https://ogmacomic.com/journal/191 Wed, 29 Apr 20 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/165 Mon, 27 Apr 20 00:00:00 +0000 I've named this. You're mine now. Obey me. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/164 Fri, 24 Apr 20 00:00:00 +0000 Paladin's been in the background on a lunch break for the last handful of pages - and guess what. He's still used to those Sunrise Bean Corporation union rules. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/190 Wed, 22 Apr 20 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/163 Mon, 20 Apr 20 00:00:00 +0000 Immediate perk of breaking into upper-management: delegation of responsibilities yields a more favourable allocation of credit. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/162 Fri, 17 Apr 20 00:00:00 +0000 Don't worry guys, we only feed him free-range adventurers, sourced from local guilds. It keeps him healthy, and it supports the local economy. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/189 Wed, 15 Apr 20 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/161 Mon, 13 Apr 20 00:00:00 +0000 Goats. They got those tiny feet for their tippity taps. And for their clippity clops. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/160 Fri, 10 Apr 20 00:00:00 +0000 Ted: Ned? Can you make your hands burst into flames? Ned: Well not right now, but I like to think I could if I applied myself. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/188 Wed, 08 Apr 20 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/159 Mon, 06 Apr 20 00:00:00 +0000 Archer's got a bag of tricks, but all of them are little sticks. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/158 Fri, 03 Apr 20 00:00:00 +0000 He doesn't even have a manager badge. He's a big fat phony! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/187 Wed, 01 Apr 20 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/157 Mon, 30 Mar 20 00:00:00 +0000 For the *really* big problems, we set them on fire THEN run away. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/156 Fri, 27 Mar 20 00:00:00 +0000 His backstory is probably part of their onboarding package, too. I bet there's a cheesy 90's video and everything! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/186 Wed, 25 Mar 20 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/155 Mon, 23 Mar 20 00:00:00 +0000 Ned! Ted! I'm about to hold a meeting that could have been a very brief message. Edit: So there I was, listening to my audiobook copy of Son of a Liche by J. Zachary Pike (fantastic book, fantastic series in general), what did I discover? That I absolutely and thoroughly - if subconsciously - stole the characters of Ned and Ted from it. Zach was gracious enough to let it slide, but you should all do my penance and pick up his books - I recommend the audio versions, the narrator is phenomenal. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/154 Fri, 20 Mar 20 00:00:00 +0000 Orc practices a common home remedy for stress where you smash and get smashed until your problems are rubble. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/185 Wed, 18 Mar 20 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/153 Mon, 16 Mar 20 00:00:00 +0000 Can the big map lead me away from the consequences of my own life choices? Or to a hospital? With *real* doctors, please. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/152 Fri, 13 Mar 20 00:00:00 +0000 Orc's managerial return policy is kicking in. Magical items never do truly wear off. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/184 Wed, 11 Mar 20 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/151 Mon, 09 Mar 20 00:00:00 +0000 Proverbs 9:16 "Stolen water is sweet; food eaten in secret is delicious!" https://ogmacomic.com/comic/150 Fri, 06 Mar 20 00:00:00 +0000 It was a shame he had lost his second favorite knife, but one does not worry about such trifles on their big day off! Besides, these things have a way of working themselves out. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/183 Wed, 04 Mar 20 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/149 Mon, 02 Mar 20 00:00:00 +0000 Just last year, a twelve year old took his lunch money. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/148 Fri, 28 Feb 20 00:00:00 +0000 We don't even trust kobolds with safety scissors, let alone a dagger. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/182 Wed, 26 Feb 20 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/147 Mon, 24 Feb 20 00:00:00 +0000 Battle Mothers Weekly Magazine recommends that you do *not* shake, throw or in any way propel babies or baby-like objects. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/146 Fri, 21 Feb 20 00:00:00 +0000 I refuse to ever draw this many kobolds on a single page ever again. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/181 Wed, 19 Feb 20 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/145 Mon, 17 Feb 20 00:00:00 +0000 While the hole was only 4 Gnomes deep, think about whether you'd like to jump into a hole as tall as four of you. Not so easy now, is it, sky-groper! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/144 Fri, 14 Feb 20 00:00:00 +0000 The previously announced OGMA side-story, "Archer's Tall Adventure," has been cancelled. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/180 Wed, 12 Feb 20 00:00:00 +0000 The little arrow labels aren't a celebration of our accomplishments - they're an excuse as to why this doodle was half-assed. *runs off to play minecraft* OH also the actual anniversary is on February 14th but we gotta follow our schedule! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/143 Mon, 10 Feb 20 00:00:00 +0000 There's a hole at the bottom of the tree. There's a hole at the bottom of the tree. There's a hole. There's a hole. There's a hole at the bottom of the tree. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/142 Fri, 07 Feb 20 00:00:00 +0000 Gnome probably thinks that should you *ever* give anything away for free, your right to possessions is forfeit forever. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/179 Wed, 05 Feb 20 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/141 Mon, 03 Feb 20 00:00:00 +0000 They talk in emojis and gang signs. Are you down with Kobold Gang? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/140 Fri, 31 Jan 20 00:00:00 +0000 At what point, during a kobold's panic attack, is it acceptable for Orc to just start indiscriminately slaying? https://ogmacomic.com/journal/178 Wed, 29 Jan 20 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/139 Mon, 27 Jan 20 00:00:00 +0000 Numerous cosmic statutes dictate that should one declare something to be so, the universe shall reorganize critical threads of fate to render it not. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/138 Fri, 24 Jan 20 00:00:00 +0000 Days without accidents: 0 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/177 Wed, 22 Jan 20 00:00:00 +0000 Boon is trying to focus group a new game he thinks is going to be a big tavern hit. He calls it Goblins and Goblins, but so far he's only been passing around this one card, and it's not really clear what this game is about. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/137 Mon, 20 Jan 20 00:00:00 +0000 Is that a sunset... or is something on fire? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/136 Fri, 17 Jan 20 00:00:00 +0000 The cooldown on inflated egos is as yet unknown. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/176 Wed, 15 Jan 20 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/135 Mon, 13 Jan 20 00:00:00 +0000 It's not about the job - it's about the freedom to turn down the job because at the end of the day you know you're better than that. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/134 Fri, 10 Jan 20 00:00:00 +0000 I'm sure she'll delegate fairly, and exercise her authority with grace. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/175 Wed, 08 Jan 20 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/133 Mon, 06 Jan 20 00:00:00 +0000 Please enjoy your complementary ups and get the hell out of my store. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/132 Fri, 03 Jan 20 00:00:00 +0000 Orc's only got one move... and it's all she needs. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/174 Wed, 01 Jan 20 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/131 Mon, 30 Dec 19 00:00:00 +0000 Betcha didn't think she was pink! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/130 Fri, 27 Dec 19 00:00:00 +0000 You know, the boss fight. Where you fight the boss. The boss being Orc. Obviously. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/173 Wed, 25 Dec 19 00:00:00 +0000 Merry Christmas, folks! We hope you're enjoying the holiday season. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/129 Mon, 23 Dec 19 00:00:00 +0000 Is HR also in "the back"? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/128 Fri, 20 Dec 19 00:00:00 +0000 It's first grade, Sponge Bob. They can't call you out on your mistakes if your coworkers eat them first. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/172 Wed, 18 Dec 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/127 Mon, 16 Dec 19 00:00:00 +0000 A useful, but often under appreciated novice spell taught to all young magelings: Resting Customer Service Face. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/126 Fri, 13 Dec 19 00:00:00 +0000 One of the Burrito Cat Family Benefits is that you're allowed to eat all the leftovers you can stomach. Mr. Turtle is, apparently, all stomach. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/171 Wed, 11 Dec 19 00:00:00 +0000 He knows where your party raids! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/125 Mon, 09 Dec 19 00:00:00 +0000 This counter has specifically been coated with a kobold secretion known to be resistant to most novice level fire spells. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/124 Fri, 06 Dec 19 00:00:00 +0000 God forbid she wants one in pink too. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/170 Wed, 04 Dec 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/123 Mon, 02 Dec 19 00:00:00 +0000 At least Orc's not dripping guac on the cobble, unlike SOME of us. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/122 Fri, 29 Nov 19 00:00:00 +0000 If she's a woman, WHERE'S HER SHIRT? The censors demand all women wear shirts! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE ATE IT? https://ogmacomic.com/journal/169 Wed, 27 Nov 19 00:00:00 +0000 There was a period immediately after the Lady General of the Barmaid Guild imposed this new policy that fingers, arms, and other pieces of anatomy were found unattended in back alleys and in gutters. After that transition however, it is generally agreed upon that adventurers' behaviour improved, at least within the confines of taverns, inns, and other guild-sanctioned places of merriment. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/121 Mon, 25 Nov 19 00:00:00 +0000 This isn't worth 3 gold an hour... I don't even get dental! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/120 Fri, 22 Nov 19 00:00:00 +0000 Play Orc's silly game and win a prize! The prize is continued use of your hand. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/168 Wed, 20 Nov 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/119 Mon, 18 Nov 19 00:00:00 +0000 Is he mild? 'Cause he looks extra spicy. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/118 Fri, 15 Nov 19 00:00:00 +0000 Profits come first, safety comes second, and dignity is left at the door. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/167 Wed, 13 Nov 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/117 Mon, 11 Nov 19 00:00:00 +0000 We are prepared to beat this short joke thing dead. But that's okay - we have necromancers. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/116 Fri, 08 Nov 19 00:00:00 +0000 With great power comes great mismanagement of funds and resources. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/166 Wed, 06 Nov 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/115 Mon, 04 Nov 19 00:00:00 +0000 Get down from there, Archer! You know what happened last time. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/114 Fri, 01 Nov 19 00:00:00 +0000 Gnome's Physician: I've consulted the charts, and it doesn't look good. It appears your body is made entirely of weaknesses! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/165 Wed, 30 Oct 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/113 Mon, 28 Oct 19 00:00:00 +0000 Who knows what she's hiding in that barrel? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/112 Fri, 25 Oct 19 00:00:00 +0000 Support your local performing arts centers. They don't have much else to live for. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/164 Wed, 23 Oct 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/111 Mon, 21 Oct 19 00:00:00 +0000 Where does the honey end and the drool begin? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/110 Fri, 18 Oct 19 00:00:00 +0000 Get in the wagon, Gnome. We're going shopping! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/163 Wed, 16 Oct 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/109 Mon, 14 Oct 19 00:00:00 +0000 Dwarves make excellent white elephant gifts at family functions. They do bite though. Look at all his teeth! You knew what you were getting. I mean, you didn't. But that's besides the point. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/108 Fri, 11 Oct 19 00:00:00 +0000 +2 to gullibility, Orc! Always read the fine print. This joke was written by Nihlex, a member of <a href="https://discord.gg/CBAxhv3">the OGMA discord</a>! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/162 Wed, 09 Oct 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/107 Mon, 07 Oct 19 00:00:00 +0000 Soon after class was over, a horde of orcs marched upon a quiet, unsuspecting village. Rather quickly, the humans' terror gave way to bewilderment as the orcs started to line up in an orderly fashion. "We're here for the tiny boyfriends?" inquired the one leading the charge. "And the tiny girlfriends!" called a voice from the back. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/106 Fri, 04 Oct 19 00:00:00 +0000 School is now closed due to health and safety concerns relating to the sudden increase of bananas. Will rebrand and reopen as a institute of higher learning for inept clowns. Registration to open in the fall. With that, ends chapter 3. We're going to do a few more one-off pages that will be a part of volume 1, before we delve into the next volume of the story - with new characters! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/161 Wed, 02 Oct 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/105 Mon, 30 Sep 19 00:00:00 +0000 Oh god he looks so much like a child in that sailor outfit... it's... it's not good! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/104 Fri, 27 Sep 19 00:00:00 +0000 Is it happening? Is it happening now? QUICK MA WHERE'S MY POPCORN. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/160 Wed, 25 Sep 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/103 Mon, 23 Sep 19 00:00:00 +0000 It's not I like you or anything... B-BAKA. I was forced to write this. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/102 Fri, 20 Sep 19 00:00:00 +0000 Pancakes are just deep fried cake. Prove me wrong. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/159 Wed, 18 Sep 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/101 Mon, 16 Sep 19 00:00:00 +0000 That, Gnome, was the sound of FREEDOM. <queue footage of bald eagle flying dubbed with the cry of a red tailed hawk> https://ogmacomic.com/comic/100 Fri, 13 Sep 19 00:00:00 +0000 When word got around of his mishap, the halflings sent Gnome a letter urging him to tender his resignation from their local softball league. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/158 Wed, 11 Sep 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/99 Mon, 09 Sep 19 00:00:00 +0000 Regarding the title... Are we talking about science, or Orc riding a shark? Arielle refused to clarify. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/98 Fri, 06 Sep 19 00:00:00 +0000 Genius is often unrecognized at a young age. Wait. I'm an adult! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/157 Wed, 04 Sep 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/97 Mon, 02 Sep 19 00:00:00 +0000 One data point simply isn't enough. Let's have another go. In order to follow the scientific method, the experiment must be repeatable. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/96 Fri, 30 Aug 19 00:00:00 +0000 Word got around on the playground, Orc has the best ups in town. You go up, but... you never come down. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/156 Wed, 28 Aug 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/95 Mon, 26 Aug 19 00:00:00 +0000 They're not trapped in here with us, we're trapped in here with them! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/94 Fri, 23 Aug 19 00:00:00 +0000 If there's one thing that Orc knows, it's that food deserves your full attention. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/155 Wed, 21 Aug 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/93 Mon, 19 Aug 19 00:00:00 +0000 It's a good thing I rarely draw Gnome with a nose, because I can't imagine Orc boob sweat smells all that great. I mean, unless you're into that sort of thing. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/92 Fri, 16 Aug 19 00:00:00 +0000 Or is it? https://ogmacomic.com/journal/154 Wed, 14 Aug 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/91 Mon, 12 Aug 19 00:00:00 +0000 "Pressed against her in the tight confines of the cave's crevice she could feel his hot breath on her navel, he was so small but inspired such a big fire inside her-" This is not foreshadowing. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/90 Fri, 09 Aug 19 00:00:00 +0000 We can't fight the children, but we can crush their hopes and dreams. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/153 Wed, 07 Aug 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/89 Mon, 05 Aug 19 00:00:00 +0000 Children, like dinosaurs, can only see movement. And smell fear. They can smell my GED from all the way over here. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/152 Fri, 02 Aug 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/88 Wed, 31 Jul 19 00:00:00 +0000 Mama Dragon's chicken curry recipe never truly washes out. Orc could find Gnome's cauldron in a pit full of dirty gnolls. Not that gnolls are all dirty. Just ones that especially are. Oh god. I swear we're not racists. We're totally fine with gnolls. Some of our best friends are gnolls! AND THEY SAID THIS JOKE WAS OKAY. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/151 Mon, 29 Jul 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/150 Fri, 26 Jul 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/87 Wed, 24 Jul 19 00:00:00 +0000 Those improv classes at the Y have really been paying off! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/149 Mon, 22 Jul 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/148 Fri, 19 Jul 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/86 Wed, 17 Jul 19 00:00:00 +0000 Relax. He'll take her to the underground child fighting ring after they've escaped. He's not a monster. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/147 Mon, 15 Jul 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/146 Fri, 12 Jul 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/85 Wed, 10 Jul 19 00:00:00 +0000 It's just like I says it 'appened, chief! They came in and tooks my beard. Said I isn't a man. Just a boy stealin' wigs, they did! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/145 Mon, 08 Jul 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/144 Fri, 05 Jul 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/84 Wed, 03 Jul 19 00:00:00 +0000 I did what you asked. Praise me little man! Praise me! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/143 Mon, 01 Jul 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/142 Fri, 28 Jun 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/83 Wed, 26 Jun 19 00:00:00 +0000 Unlike adventurer classes, social classes are distributed at birth and are extremely difficult to change. The only known dual-social-class individuals have all been royalty going through "that period" where they thought it deep and meaningful to disguise themselves as commoners for a spell. It never lasts very long. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/141 Mon, 24 Jun 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/140 Fri, 21 Jun 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/82 Wed, 19 Jun 19 00:00:00 +0000 Flirting or Threatening: An in depth look at the courtship rituals of Orcs is less a book and more a series of flow charts. Most of which involve yes or no questions to asses your current situation and advise you on your next course of action. Nearly all of which advise that you run for your life. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/139 Mon, 17 Jun 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/138 Fri, 14 Jun 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/81 Wed, 12 Jun 19 00:00:00 +0000 The nightmare of graduates everywhere. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/137 Mon, 10 Jun 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/136 Fri, 07 Jun 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/80 Wed, 05 Jun 19 00:00:00 +0000 Mr Turtle's line of side kick costumes and accessories will be featured this year at Milan's fashion week. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/135 Mon, 03 Jun 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/134 Fri, 31 May 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/79 Wed, 29 May 19 00:00:00 +0000 [IRS wants to know your location] https://ogmacomic.com/journal/133 Mon, 27 May 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/132 Fri, 24 May 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/78 Wed, 22 May 19 00:00:00 +0000 This was obvious to everyone else. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/131 Mon, 20 May 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/130 Fri, 17 May 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/77 Wed, 15 May 19 00:00:00 +0000 *cue magical girl transformation soundtrack* https://ogmacomic.com/journal/129 Mon, 13 May 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/128 Fri, 10 May 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/76 Wed, 08 May 19 00:00:00 +0000 With great sentience comes a greater need for pants. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/127 Mon, 06 May 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/126 Fri, 03 May 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/75 Wed, 01 May 19 00:00:00 +0000 Someone woke up on the wrong side of the box. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/125 Mon, 29 Apr 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/124 Fri, 26 Apr 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/74 Wed, 24 Apr 19 00:00:00 +0000 Don't worry about the bird. He just suddenly decided to... sleep in. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/123 Mon, 22 Apr 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/122 Fri, 19 Apr 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/73 Wed, 17 Apr 19 00:00:00 +0000 This chapter is bananas. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/121 Mon, 15 Apr 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/120 Fri, 12 Apr 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/72 Wed, 10 Apr 19 00:00:00 +0000 That statue is oddly... familiar. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/119 Mon, 08 Apr 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/118 Fri, 05 Apr 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/71 Wed, 03 Apr 19 00:00:00 +0000 Gnomes and rich ducks are both highly skilled at swimming in loot. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/117 Mon, 01 Apr 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/116 Fri, 29 Mar 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/70 Wed, 27 Mar 19 00:00:00 +0000 What's the matter Gnome? Giant cat... bird lady gotcha tongue? https://ogmacomic.com/journal/115 Mon, 25 Mar 19 00:00:00 +0000 You can find <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BvbphpiHVUH/">photos of the real thing here</a>, and <a href="https://instagram.com/null.jordan">The Artificer</a> is available for commissioned work in case any of you are interested. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/114 Fri, 22 Mar 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/69 Wed, 20 Mar 19 00:00:00 +0000 Orc and Gnome have taken to shaking those kobolds up and down and up again for hot loot maps. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/113 Mon, 18 Mar 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/112 Fri, 15 Mar 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/68 Wed, 13 Mar 19 00:00:00 +0000 Death is one answer. Permanent maiming of your local necromancer is another. Neither will save our precious Gnome. But one will make Orc feel better. And that's all anyone cares about. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/111 Mon, 11 Mar 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/110 Fri, 08 Mar 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/67 Wed, 06 Mar 19 00:00:00 +0000 Mystery sludge is a fantastic moisturizer and only *mildly* mutates your cellular structure! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/109 Mon, 04 Mar 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/108 Fri, 01 Mar 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/66 Wed, 27 Feb 19 00:00:00 +0000 As a necromancer I solve my problems by waiting for them to die. Then bringing them back from the dead at family gatherings and inappropriate social functions. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/107 Mon, 25 Feb 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/106 Fri, 22 Feb 19 00:00:00 +0000 This one was actually inspired by a literal pile of amazing dice I bought from <a href="https://krakendice.com">Kraken Dice</a>. The ones pictured on this page are actually a paintover of the ones I received, each being cut from semiprecious stones, including amethysts, opalite, and lapis lazuli. They're not often in stock, but if you're interested, subscribing to their newsletter will give you a heads up when they're planning to release another batch. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/65 Wed, 20 Feb 19 00:00:00 +0000 His parents hoped he'd grow up to be a podiatrist. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/105 Mon, 18 Feb 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/104 Fri, 15 Feb 19 00:00:00 +0000 The Sphinx is a curious case. Though it is widely accepted that sphinxes are impervious to any weapon or magics known across the expanse of the Empire, this fierce, ravenous beast adheres to a strict set of rules. Any soul with the misfortune of stumbling across her is given a test. Nowadays, survivors report being asked a riddle, but in the past a number of different tests seemed to be devised, including elaborate word searches, some magical puzzle known as a ‘sudoku’, and a three minute presentation on a topic of the victim’s own choosing. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/64 Wed, 13 Feb 19 00:00:00 +0000 Does she know mouth to mouth? https://ogmacomic.com/journal/103 Mon, 11 Feb 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/102 Fri, 08 Feb 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/63 Wed, 06 Feb 19 00:00:00 +0000 Where did she find Orc themed bandaids? https://ogmacomic.com/journal/101 Sun, 03 Feb 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/100 Fri, 01 Feb 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/62 Wed, 30 Jan 19 00:00:00 +0000 Calculus. He's going to teach her calculus. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/99 Mon, 28 Jan 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/98 Fri, 25 Jan 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/61 Wed, 23 Jan 19 00:00:00 +0000 An adorable menace is still a menace. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/97 Mon, 21 Jan 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/96 Fri, 18 Jan 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/60 Wed, 16 Jan 19 00:00:00 +0000 Don't worry, she'll wash it down with an expensive healing elixir next. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/95 Mon, 14 Jan 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/94 Fri, 11 Jan 19 00:00:00 +0000 [Top right] I've seen a few people use this sort of potion before, though I don't think I'd want to use it myself. Basically, you drink down the potion, and inevitably swallow one of the twenty-sided dice contained within. After nearly choking to death, you cough it up, watch it roll and come to a stop. The number that comes up will influence your luck until the next sunrise. Should you roll a 10 or higher, congratulations are in order! Depending on how high the roll, you may find a gold piece laying around, or perhaps you'll win big at cards. Rolling a 20 is something very special. Do this, and your life will be changed forever - perhaps you'll inherit a fortune from a long lost ancestor, or catch a noble's fancy. Now, if you roll a 9 or lower, then your luck will take a turn for the worse. From a 7 or greater, beware of furniture or doorframes, as stubbed toes are common. Lower still, and you might take ill. Roll a 1, and you might make an enemy of someone with real power. Now you're thinking - if it's got 20 sides, then there's no 0, right? Unfortunately not. It's widely considered rolling a 0, if you never manage to cough it up at all. [Bottom left] This one is particularly annoying. A bottle that will never break, but always spills. Hit it as hard as you want, and it will only crack or scratch the surface of the glass. Cork it tight, however, and you'll still end up with the contents all over your pants. Orc still thinks I can't control my bladder... https://ogmacomic.com/comic/59 Wed, 09 Jan 19 00:00:00 +0000 All men are haunted by the elusive underboob. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/93 Mon, 07 Jan 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/92 Fri, 04 Jan 19 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/58 Wed, 02 Jan 19 00:00:00 +0000 Orc and Gnome will travel great distances, fight dangerous monsters, poke fun at death himself if it means getting out of paperwork. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/91 Mon, 31 Dec 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/90 Fri, 28 Dec 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/89 Tue, 25 Dec 18 00:00:00 +0000 Merry Christmas! This special illustration is out a day earlier than the usual Wednesday updates, for obvious reasons. Regular programming will resume next week. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/88 Mon, 24 Dec 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/87 Fri, 21 Dec 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/57 Wed, 19 Dec 18 00:00:00 +0000 Who you gunna call? Anyone covered by your homeowners insurance. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/86 Mon, 17 Dec 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/85 Fri, 14 Dec 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/56 Wed, 12 Dec 18 00:00:00 +0000 Which stat will increase my attractiveness to tiny nerds? https://ogmacomic.com/journal/84 Mon, 10 Dec 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/83 Fri, 07 Dec 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/55 Wed, 05 Dec 18 00:00:00 +0000 The best way to avoid side quests is to kill everyone you meet. Also this page was 100% inspired by a John Mulaney bit. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/82 Mon, 03 Dec 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/81 Fri, 30 Nov 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/54 Wed, 28 Nov 18 00:00:00 +0000 On the weekends she goes by "Collar" ;3 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/80 Mon, 26 Nov 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/79 Fri, 23 Nov 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/53 Wed, 21 Nov 18 00:00:00 +0000 Special delivery! *please don't kill me I'm just trying to help* https://ogmacomic.com/journal/78 Mon, 19 Nov 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/77 Fri, 16 Nov 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/52 Wed, 14 Nov 18 00:00:00 +0000 Mr Skelly-Hand your betrayal was as obvious as it was inevitable. But it still hurt my feelings. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/76 Mon, 12 Nov 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/75 Fri, 09 Nov 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/51 Wed, 07 Nov 18 00:00:00 +0000 The pages contain the slam poetry of an ancient deity. Rumor has it that upon hearing it spoken aloud the listener will sprout an over-groomed beard and be doomed to try and fund a series of small scale start-ups. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/74 Mon, 05 Nov 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/73 Fri, 02 Nov 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/72 Wed, 31 Oct 18 00:00:00 +0000 Happy Halloween! This week, since Halloween's fallen on a Wednesday, I made a little OGMA Halloween illustration for you folks. When Gnome puts on his Spongegnome Squaretrousers costume and gets a few spooky ales in him, he gets a little out of control. Regular programming will resume next week! For those of you viewing this on the home page of the website, hitting "Previous" will get you back into the story, and clicking on the Gnome's Journal banner below will get you more journal pages like this one! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/71 Mon, 29 Oct 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/70 Fri, 26 Oct 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/50 Wed, 24 Oct 18 00:00:00 +0000 Some girls just want to smash. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/69 Mon, 22 Oct 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/68 Fri, 19 Oct 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/49 Wed, 17 Oct 18 00:00:00 +0000 He's a strong independent Gnome that don't need no boops. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/67 Mon, 15 Oct 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/66 Fri, 12 Oct 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/48 Wed, 10 Oct 18 00:00:00 +0000 The final piece to this puzzle is being 4 inches taller. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/65 Mon, 08 Oct 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/64 Fri, 05 Oct 18 00:00:00 +0000 [Top left] Pickled Mana Faeries. A surprisingly tasty treat, if you can handle their tendency to squirm and complain. On top of that, just one full faerie will expand the size of your mana pool for a full day. They're really only a step away from being mana moths anyway. [Top right] The Pomegranate Grenade - throw it at an enemy and it will erupt in a flurry of bubbles and sparkles. Carrying a heavily fruity scent, it's sure to distract and harry them while you make your mistake [escape, but we decided to leave the typo]. Extremely useful - I used to have several of these, but they've been disappearing. I think Orc has been using them for her baths... I mean, she always comes out smelling suspiciously good. [Bottom right] Recently Orc joined a party that had a temporary opening, and left me to spend the day drinking with Mr. Turtle. When she got back, she planted this in front of me, with a big grin plastered across her face. She proudly declared that as her share of the loot, she claimed this "golden bear." She was sure it would make me happy, and that we'd be able to sell it for a fortune. I don't have the heart to tell her that it's just a fancy bottle of mediocre honey. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/47 Wed, 03 Oct 18 00:00:00 +0000 Orc isn't the first hero to go mad with murderous rage at the sight of ceramic pottery. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/63 Mon, 01 Oct 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/62 Fri, 28 Sep 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/46 Wed, 26 Sep 18 00:00:00 +0000 My trust was misplaced. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/61 Mon, 24 Sep 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/60 Fri, 21 Sep 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/45 Wed, 19 Sep 18 00:00:00 +0000 Orc's a professional. I trust her. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/59 Mon, 17 Sep 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/58 Fri, 14 Sep 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/44 Wed, 12 Sep 18 00:00:00 +0000 Fun goes great with a light garlic sauce over bread. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/57 Mon, 10 Sep 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/56 Fri, 07 Sep 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/43 Wed, 05 Sep 18 00:00:00 +0000 Orc was born fully formed bursting from her father's forehead... no. Wrong story. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/55 Mon, 03 Sep 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/54 Fri, 31 Aug 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/42 Wed, 29 Aug 18 00:00:00 +0000 Anything you say. Just don't drop that hammer on my foot. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/53 Mon, 27 Aug 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/52 Fri, 24 Aug 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/41 Wed, 22 Aug 18 00:00:00 +0000 Put that hand down Mr Turtle. You don't know where it's been. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/51 Mon, 20 Aug 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/50 Fri, 17 Aug 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/40 Wed, 15 Aug 18 00:00:00 +0000 You said you were an alchemist and that mages are "Scientists who cheat" https://ogmacomic.com/journal/49 Mon, 13 Aug 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/48 Fri, 10 Aug 18 00:00:00 +0000 [Top right] In our field of work, we often go into dark places, and sometimes an open torch isn't an option. While these are not strictly potions, they are bottle-based solutions we've been known to employ. One option is a large bottle of thick glass filled with clear water, in which the egg sack of a starlight fly is inserted while still soft. In the water, it grows solid quite rapidly. Once hard, it can easily crack against the side of the bottle, freeing the glowing nymphs inside and creating an obnoxious glow. [Bottom] A trapped candlesprite will grow dim while it sleeps, but while awake, its flame gradually burns through the cork imprisoning it. Also, the bottle will get quite hot, posing a serious hazard. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/39 Wed, 08 Aug 18 00:00:00 +0000 Tender Tokens carry no gold value and are only redeemable at dungeons under level 15. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/47 Mon, 06 Aug 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/46 Fri, 03 Aug 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/38 Wed, 01 Aug 18 00:00:00 +0000 I've got a bone to (lock) pick with you... https://ogmacomic.com/journal/45 Mon, 30 Jul 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/44 Fri, 27 Jul 18 00:00:00 +0000 [Top right] What a strange shape for a vial. I prefer big bottles, myself. [Top Left] We use this mixture of streamwater, mint and little bits of fluorite to rinse our mouths before we sleep. I suspect Orc sneaks candies in bed though... [Bottom left] I bought this at market. Thought it might be a nice gift for orc, for reasons that should be fairly obvious to anyone who knows her. I figured it was some sort of a snow-globe that would send little particles all aflutter when shaken. The more I look at it though, the more it seems like the little hammer is trying to... escape. How did it get there in the first place? https://ogmacomic.com/comic/37 Wed, 25 Jul 18 00:00:00 +0000 Fire is so hot right now. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/43 Mon, 23 Jul 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/42 Fri, 20 Jul 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/36 Wed, 18 Jul 18 00:00:00 +0000 Shoo, the nerds are playing puzzles. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/41 Mon, 16 Jul 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/40 Fri, 13 Jul 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/35 Wed, 11 Jul 18 00:00:00 +0000 Orc has a hammer and every problem is a nail. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/39 Mon, 09 Jul 18 00:00:00 +0000 [Top right] Today we start with a simple mana potion. The weird thing about these is the kind of bugs it tends to attract. It doesn't matter how well sealed the bottle is, these annoying little blue "mana moths" can always smell it out. Very irritating. [Bottom right, definitely not sriracha] A celebrated condiment only found in the Temp Guild Hall, Tender's Chicken Sauce can add a kick to any meal. It's made from a secret recipe and bottled in house with its distinctive green stopper. Strangely enough, the sauce is neither made using chicken, nor intended to be used on chicken. We're not really sure what chickens have to do with it. Perhaps Tender employs them to make the sauce? Will continue to investigate. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/38 Fri, 06 Jul 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/34 Wed, 04 Jul 18 00:00:00 +0000 We could also try flirtation, bribery and the crowd favorite... arson. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/37 Mon, 02 Jul 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/36 Fri, 29 Jun 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/33 Wed, 27 Jun 18 00:00:00 +0000 Kobolds are actually very heavy and rarely get ups. They are also definitely.. maybe.. probably not dragons. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/35 Mon, 25 Jun 18 00:00:00 +0000 [Top left] This potion's pretty spooky, and not easy to find. I'm not yet sure of which ingredients are used in it, but I'm sure they're equally rare. This potion is a poison of sorts - consuming some unspecified amount will put you in a state so close to death that clerics and healers will not be able to tell, and the undead themselves will not be able to distinguish you from their own ranks. The correct dose will wear off in two sunrises, but be careful not to overdose. Though it does come with a generous refund policy, collecting can be difficult. [Bottom right] This one's great - and not just for the utterly unnecessary and expensive ornament on the top. Which won't come off. I've tried. Must be some kind of unicorn-based glue. Anyway, this option is for those of you with a picky palate, or anyone who needs to attend a banquet catered by their mother in law. It is well known that mother in laws are incapable of cooking well. One drop of this concoction will make anything that touches your tongue taste like your absolute favourite food. Truly! I didn't believe it at first - and then I nearly chipped my teeth trying to eat rocks off the ground. Fantastic! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/34 Fri, 22 Jun 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/32 Wed, 20 Jun 18 00:00:00 +0000 That is the sound of a kobold who loves his job. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/33 Mon, 18 Jun 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/32 Fri, 15 Jun 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/31 Wed, 13 Jun 18 00:00:00 +0000 Orc lady say what now? https://ogmacomic.com/journal/31 Mon, 11 Jun 18 00:00:00 +0000 [Heart-shaped bottle, top left] Orc is weirdly lucky. One day she was trundling through a stream, splashing about like a child (as she does), and she came across this lovely (and nearly full) greater health potion. While many young and inexperienced imbeciles [crossed out] adventurers will assume these to be commonplace, they're not by any stretch. You can find some basic potions to mend your scrapes and disinfect cuts in most markets, but those elven-made knockoffs won't do anything for a broken bone, or a proper stab wound. This bottle on its own has enough elixir to bring my idiot back from the brink at least half a dozen times. Maybe more! [Yellow-green potion, bottom left] I was excited when I stumbled upon this one, thinking it a potent poison. Turns out it was a basic, but effective, mosquito repellant. Considering the size of mosquitos in some of the places we visit, it wasn't an entirely disappointing purchase. [Pink, triangular bottle, bottom right] On top of the cork being stuck so tightly that I could only test its contents by licking at the fluid that pooled underneath from the bottle's many cracks, it turned out this potion puts the subject in an unnaturally good mood for hours. Truly horrendous. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/30 Fri, 08 Jun 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/30 Wed, 06 Jun 18 00:00:00 +0000 Shifting sands don't make for distinct or consistent landmarks. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/29 Mon, 04 Jun 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/28 Fri, 01 Jun 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/29 Wed, 30 May 18 00:00:00 +0000 Gnome forgot to explain to Mr Turtle that he is going to have to pay for things. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/27 Mon, 28 May 18 00:00:00 +0000 [Bottle with the mer creature, top right] I found this one in a dungeon expedition. We were clearing the place for a lord... or a baron... or maybe just some rich fellow who thought too highly of himself. But I stumbled upon a side room that could only be accessed from a tiny passage I found behind two loose bricks. Only I could fit, it was almost like it was meant for me. The haul wasn't great, just a fancy box that contained this bottle. I don't know how the little creature inside has survived this long, but it is very hissy, and rather mean. [Jar on the bottom right] This one was too expensive to buy, but it was pretty. Merchant said it contained dragon mucus. Very potent. [Long necked bottle on the bottom left] I found this one empty in the gutter. It deserved better, with its graceful neck and big, voluptuous bowl. I brewed for it a poison of nightshade berries, with overripe peaches to taste. Even a poisoning should be a pleasant experience, I think. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/26 Fri, 25 May 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/28 Wed, 23 May 18 00:00:00 +0000 Please, call me Turtle. Mr Turtle was my father. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/25 Mon, 21 May 18 00:00:00 +0000 Every town has a market, and every market has an alchemist. As a form of research, I purchase any unique potions I can lay my hands upon. Needless to say, the glorified merchants rarely know much about the wares they sell, and mislabel them frequently. In order to catalogue them correctly, I must taste their contents and observe their effects. This is quite dangerous, and must be done with care. [The phallic vial on the top] The vial's shape is rather unpleasantly suggestive. The contents taste of overripe raspberries, A dab of the fluid on my tongue burned at first. I woke up hours later, and Orc was blushing and would not say why. [The spherical bottle on the bottom right] Tastes of blue. I went blind for a week. Remarkably, that is exactly what the merchant had claimed. [The squarish bottle on the bottom left] When applied to skin, it increases the rate at which hair grows considerably. Very useful for those days when Orc's antics result in my eyebrows being singed off. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/24 Fri, 18 May 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/27 Tue, 15 May 18 00:00:00 +0000 The dwarf said that the answer to Mr Turtle's identity crisis was at the bottom of a mug filled with a strange honey colored liquid. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/26 Tue, 15 May 18 00:00:00 +0000 Tender is too busy looking for his missing chicken to hand out jobs right now. You'll just have to check the local boards for something. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/23 Mon, 14 May 18 00:00:00 +0000 This was a fun little activity - I painted a portrait of Arielle (the one who writes all the funnies here) and then turned her into Orc. <a href="https://youtu.be/-azz5q6N45Y">I even recorded it</a>! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/22 Fri, 11 May 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/21 Mon, 07 May 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/20 Fri, 04 May 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/25 Tue, 01 May 18 00:00:00 +0000 Only the desperate use boards to post jobs. Only the insane take those jobs. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/24 Tue, 01 May 18 00:00:00 +0000 Maybe if we pretend nothing is wrong I wont have to do anything about it. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/19 Mon, 30 Apr 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/18 Fri, 27 Apr 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/17 Mon, 23 Apr 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/16 Fri, 20 Apr 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/15 Mon, 16 Apr 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/23 Sun, 15 Apr 18 00:00:00 +0000 On the other hand, if Tender's chicken got hurt in a bog they'd be facing death instead of wage garnishments. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/22 Sun, 15 Apr 18 00:00:00 +0000 You had one job. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/21 Sun, 15 Apr 18 00:00:00 +0000 Pumpkin spice witch huts available this fall. Get yours today! https://ogmacomic.com/journal/14 Fri, 13 Apr 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/13 Mon, 09 Apr 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/12 Fri, 06 Apr 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/11 Mon, 02 Apr 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/20 Sun, 01 Apr 18 00:00:00 +0000 Bogs and fens both have deposits of peat in them. However, bog water is more acidic than fen water as fens have greater water exchange from small rivers or ground water. This joke is supported by science. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/19 Sun, 01 Apr 18 00:00:00 +0000 He's doing his best. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/18 Sun, 01 Apr 18 00:00:00 +0000 Mr. Turtle hugs are the best hugs. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/10 Fri, 30 Mar 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/9 Mon, 26 Mar 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/8 Fri, 23 Mar 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/7 Mon, 19 Mar 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/6 Fri, 16 Mar 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/17 Thu, 15 Mar 18 00:00:00 +0000 "Does your book have a plant called chokegnome?" "No, but it sounds interesting. what does it do?" "Gurgle mostly." https://ogmacomic.com/comic/16 Thu, 15 Mar 18 00:00:00 +0000 Mr. Turtle the Tortoise sat up. It was then that he realized he was sitting up. "Well that's interesting," he remarked. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/15 Thu, 15 Mar 18 00:00:00 +0000 That would look great over a fireplace. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/5 Mon, 12 Mar 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/4 Fri, 09 Mar 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/3 Mon, 05 Mar 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/journal/2 Fri, 02 Mar 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/14 Thu, 01 Mar 18 00:00:00 +0000 You can tell a lot about a man by the size of his explosions. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/13 Thu, 01 Mar 18 00:00:00 +0000 She's really not handling this. But I'm not going to be the one to tell her. https://ogmacomic.com/journal/1 Mon, 26 Feb 18 00:00:00 +0000 https://ogmacomic.com/comic/12 Wed, 14 Feb 18 00:00:00 +0000 She's a fighter not a geographer! https://ogmacomic.com/comic/11 Wed, 14 Feb 18 00:00:00 +0000 At least Mr. Tortoise is wearing protection. ..Get it? Because he's got a shell? No? God damnit. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/10 Wed, 14 Feb 18 00:00:00 +0000 Look, there she goes Our lady of green, silver, and gold Her jokes are so lewd I'm blushing too My goodness she's cute and funny to boot I mean... the middle doesn't actually rhyme. But do you think she'll like it? I hope she does... https://ogmacomic.com/comic/9 Wed, 14 Feb 18 00:00:00 +0000 I once asked Tender to keep his chickens outside for health and safety reasons. He made me sleep in the coop for a week. I still find feathers in my things. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/8 Wed, 14 Feb 18 00:00:00 +0000 Excerpt from: How to Avoid an Orc Rampage Orcs by nature are a rather large and violent people. Some theorize that their great ancestors once stubbed their toe on a peice of furniture and swore vengence on all man made structures. There is also the school of thought that Orcs are giant claustrophobes and destroy buildings as a way to avoid their fears. This however fails to explain the destruction of bridges, chairs, fences and other non wall based structures. Whatever the case may be Orcs break things. Many things. Large or small. It is our advice to you, should you encounter an Orc that you- Oh dear. Looks like the rest of the book was destroyed. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/7 Wed, 14 Feb 18 00:00:00 +0000 You'd think being so much closer to the ground world make him more observant. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/6 Wed, 14 Feb 18 00:00:00 +0000 Everything's a riddle with those scaly, bat-winged jerks, and sometimes they just won't even bother at all. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/5 Wed, 14 Feb 18 00:00:00 +0000 Q: How many chickens are in this story exactly? A: However many it takes to make you laugh. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/4 Wed, 14 Feb 18 00:00:00 +0000 You may want to reconsider. I don't think Gnome comes with any kind of warranty, and you're clearly going to need one. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/3 Wed, 14 Feb 18 00:00:00 +0000 It's probably just beer. Let me check the script. papers rustle Uh oh. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/2 Wed, 14 Feb 18 00:00:00 +0000 "Dear diary, Today I fell victim to basic economic principles." I still can't believe you want me to narrate for a Gnome. At least the exposition looks nice. Was he really chased by a bear? Oh... right. We get to that later. https://ogmacomic.com/comic/1 Wed, 14 Feb 18 00:00:00 +0000 Like all grand adventures, this one begins in a tavern, with a tankard of ale. But it had better not be grand - Gnome would absolutely hate that.